Moving to a new blog site!

For anyone who may stumble across this blog site, or who may have read my blog in the past who still frequents this site, you may have noticed I haven't posted here in a while.  There are several reasons for this, but to summarize it all in one neat little sentence... 2017 was a crazy, hectic year for me.  To say that it was not my favorite year is an understatement.  It seemed to be one emergency after another, and I do believe I added to my ever growing abundance of gray hairs more this past year than any other so far.  Let's just say I was more than happy to close the door of 2017 and have eagerly opened the door to 2018 with great expectations and the promise of new mercy, new grace, and a clean slate.  Even though there were many things out of my control I believe I can personally do better this year.  I am believing for bigger and better things and have given myself 14 personal goals to carry with me into the new year, some of which I will share with you by the end of this post.

One thing I am looking forward to in the new year is trying to squeeze in more time for writing, which happens to be a passion I share with my husband.  He has started a brand new website this year called Treach the Word (which is a word play on our last name, and the fact that he's a preacher/teacher) and I have decided to take him up on his offer for a joint effort in out writing pursuits.  It is with that new chapter of writing that I will be closing this one.  I have enjoyed my amateur attempts at blogging with this site, which has mainly been just a few of the colorful ramblings of my mind brought to life in simple sentences.  I look back on these posts (which have very little to do with the exact happenings around me at those times) and can immediately recall that particular season of my life.  I learned so many lessons those few years, and went through some of the most tumultuous storms of my life.  But the main thing is, I came through them in the end.  I'm still standing, I'm still me, and I'm still writing.  (just not as often)

So... what do I want to take with me into 2018?  Peace.  I want and crave peace.  That's a pretty broad term, and it covers oh so much, but I have a deep, burning desire for this coming year to be peaceful.  Again, some things are within my control, other things aren't, but whatever may come this year I hope and pray that I claim it with elegance, with the right attitude, and with grace.  God may see fit to throw my way some of the hardest tests of my life this year, I have no idea.  But if He thinks I can handle it, then so be it.  I just want to be able to overcome it all in a way that is most pleasing to Him.

I mentioned that I jotted down a few ideas to take with me into the new year.  I'll leave you with some of them.

1. Do what you know you need to do.
2. Start the day right and end it right.
3. Don't be afraid to be who you are.  It's ok to be you.
4. Pray more, yell less.
5. Never leave a room empty handed.
6. Forgive yourself.
7. Be the friend you wish you had.
8. Make your smiles contagious.
9. Keep the soil of your heart tilled and turned. Bitterness is a root, dig deep.

It's been a pleasure having you read my blog.  I pray that I somehow left you with a smile on your face, a thought in your head, and a hope in your heart.  God bless and keep you always.  Please, come and visit me at Treach the Word sometime.

Your friend,

Jennifer

Some Things I've Learned...

Over three years ago, I started working on this blog post.  I don't exactly know why I chose to keep it on the back burner all this time.  There are many posts I've started but never finished that I don't feel any desire to do so, but I do feel compelled to complete this one.  An upcoming birthday seems like as good a time as any to talk about a few life lessons learned.  So... here we go.

I've learned a few things in my lifetime.  I'd like to share them with you.


Some things in life truly can't be replaced by something else.

In my experience, substitutes are never as good as the real thing (diet mayo, for example... eww!).  Once something is no longer there that used to be there, leave it be.  Don't try to fill a void.  It simply will not work; it will only fall apart.  Besides, the only thing in this life that can ever be used to patch a gaping hole is Jesus, in which case He fills the void creating something brand new.  Hmmm...something to ponder...if your life is falling apart.  What have you been using to patch the holes?  Okay, that's another blog post in and of itself.


In most cases, the simplest answer is usually the best.

I do not need the cleaning, planning, cooking, or financial schedule of some other superwoman on the internet with an awesome-looking blog.  I've tried.  I've failed.  Clean a little every day, get the staples at the grocery store and follow new recipes, keep the same tried and true bill pay routine I've used since high school.  I do not need some detailed diet plan complete with daily menus, calorie counting, and a rigorous exercise routine.  I've tried.  I've failed.  Move more, eat less.  Period.

Your body tells on you.

Headaches, neck and back pain, fever blisters, sleepless nights, weight gain: these are the ways my body tells me I've got a problem somewhere that needs fixing.  These things happen to me usually when I am overly stressed, worried, or very sad about something.  I'm sure our bodies are all different, but think about it.  What are the signs your body sends to tell you something needs to be fixed, if at all possible?  Maybe we should pay more attention.

The phrase "grin and bear it": Genius!

There is much to be said about acceptance.  There is a big difference between accepting and giving up.  The ability to learn how to choose one's battles is one of life's greatest (and hardest) lessons learned, in my opinion.  My personality is such that I too often back down, or I avoid conflict at all cost.  That is a weakness of mine.  But being able to just simply accept something that is completely out of my control with a genuine smile—now, that is a strength.  I don't always have to have it my way.  I don't always have to control every single thing in my life.  My needs and wants do not have to be first and foremost in every situation.  I've learned that sometimes you just need to simply breathe in and out really long and slow...and then grin and bear it.

Happiness is not a necessity in life.

Hold on to your hats, folks!  I'm about to say something you may not all agree on.  Happiness is not a right we earn.  Sometimes "just wanting to be happy" can actually be selfish.  I probably just stepped on a few toes or ruffled a few feathers there.  But hey, this is one of the perks of having your own blog: speaking one's mind.  :)  Call it what you want; but the times I've actually heard people say something to the effect of, "I deserve to be happy", are often on the brink of something very selfish in nature.  Happiness is not something to be deserved.  Happiness is a blessing.  It is a gift for which to be thankful.  I also believe that it is a gift that is not necessary to live a productive life.  Happiness and joy, in my opinion, are two totally different things.  I believe it is possible to live in joy and not necessarily be happy all the time.

Music has a major impact on your mood, attitude, and thought processes.

Input, output; what goes in is what comes out.  What a simple concept that we too often take for granted.  We seem to match music to our moods, and it sometimes it makes us feel better...momentarily.  Other times it can actually make us feel worse.

There is a musical genre for any emotion you can imagine.  I see this as a danger.  When we open our minds to music, we cannot stop it from effecting what we think and how it makes us feel.  Dare I say it?  Music is spiritual.  Feeling angry?  What does loud, aggressive music with a strong beat seem to do?  It feeds that anger instead of cooling it down.  Feeling sad or depressed?  Ever start crying even more than before once you turn on your favorite slow song?  And during these times, what are you thinking?  You're more than likely dwelling on those feelings, thinking of what made you feel that way in the first place.

I am speaking from personal experience here.  I have learned that the best way to combat negative emotions is not by matching those feelings to music.  Being a musician and songwriter, I have a love for music and I know the power it can have in our lives, both good and bad.  The next time you're in your car angry at the world, or just bummed out from a bad day, instead of turning on that music your mind wants you to listen to, try some Praise and Worship music.  Try some classical piano.  Try something soothing rather than feeding that fire.  You may not think it makes that much of a difference, but I truly believe with all my heart that it does.  Music is powerful.  Don't underestimate it.

It really will get better with time and God.

Ever heard the phrase "Time heals all wounds"?  I believe that statement is severely lacking.  Rose Kennedy has been quoted as saying,

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

I'd like to take it a step further, if I may.  God is the One who covers wounds with scars, and He uses time to do it.  He's the pro when it comes to scars, by the way.  Because the human mind is blessed (sometimes cursed) with the ability to remember, I'm not sure that wounds ever completely fade; but I do believe they heal.  There have been several times in my life that I wasn't sure if I could get through the next day, but I did.  Was it easy?  No.  Did it hurt?  Tremendously.  Am I still here?  Absolutely.  By the grace of God and through the faith and prayers of close friends and family who love me dearly, I held on; and it got better.  Speaking of things I never finish, there's a song I started a while back that talks about one of my favorite verses in the Bible, "...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning"  (Psalm 30:5).

Just when you think life has settled down, hang on tight!  It's about to change, again.

I'm nearly 36 years old, and I have never lived under the same roof for more than three years at a time.  I'm afraid of putting down roots because as soon as I do, something comes along to uproot me all over again.  I'm having a transparent moment here, but I am jealous of those of you who have had the luxury of growing up in the same house and getting to bring your children to see your old room.  I am in no way complaining about my life.  I've been blessed beyond measure and will be the first to admit that fact.  I just wish I could have settled down somewhere.  I'm not about to make plans where I am at present, either.  Nope, I know better.  The main thing is just doing what I was speaking of earlier: grin and bear it.  I've been in the ministry all of my life.  The life of ministry is a horse of a different color.  We don't get the same roof for 20+ years.  We only get a handful of true, life-long best friends, if we're that lucky.  We give way more than we get.  We serve.  We encourage and build up other people; then, we cry ourselves to sleep at night.  We don't put down roots; we tend to others' roots.  It's just the way it is.

You don't have to be perfect in order to be a blessing to others.

Thank God!  If He required perfection, I'd be completely useless.  Don't look at yourself in the mirror every morning and immediately decide you have nothing worth giving to the world.  For every weakness you possess, I guarantee you have a strength that someone else wishes they had.  To keep yourself from others because you don't like you, to hide in your hole of insecurity, to bury yourself in the sands of your imperfection—it's the most selfish thing you can do.  Somebody needs you.  Probably a lot of somebodies need you.  Don't wait until you feel you have it all together because, I promise you, no one does.  No matter how perfect someone else's life may seem, it's not.  Every living, breathing human being you pass by each day is going through their own personal hell.  We all have one.  Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.  What better way to combat your own hurt than by helping heal someone else's?

Let other people be in their box.

Ok, let me explain a little here.  I heard of the concept of the box while listening to a marriage seminar message.  It was geared towards the idea that men have their  mental boxes and that they get them out one at a time and deal with things in life that way.  When they are "in their box", they typically ignore everything else going on around them until they put that box away and go get another one.  Women, on the other hand, have twenty or more boxes open at a time and are jumping from box to box all day long, which is why it bums us out or even makes us angry when our husbands don't help us deal with all our open boxes because they have their hands and heads in their one little box.  Make sense?  For instance, say he's outside doing yard work, plain and simple.  More than likely, it's a stress reliever for him rather than a chore; it's his quiet time to get away from it all and just sweat and cut grass and attack tree branches.  Let him.  Don't go out there and ask about a past due bill or what he wants to do about next week's church social or, even worse, ask him to come inside and kill a spider.  No.  He's in his box.  Let him be in his box until he puts it away.  The secret is timing.  Catch him before he goes and opens another one.  :)  I have learned that this principal not only applies to marriage but can also be useful in life.  Let people be themselves.  Let them have their moment.  Let them be in their box, if at all possible.  Just imagine how happy you would be if others would let you be in your box...or boxes.

Comparison: code for joy-killer.

So, some of these things that I've learned...I'm still learning them...most of them, in fact.  This is probably the biggest one for me.  Why do we (women probably more than men) have the tendency to constantly look at others and compare ourselves to them?  It's really crazy when you stop and think about it, but it happens all the time.  Homes, clothes, weight and sizes, jobs, cooking abilities—Gracious!—even our own families—we are always mentally comparing ourselves and everything about us with others.  I'm speaking from personal experience here; but in most cases, we end up feeling less than perfect.  It got me so down and out at one point in my life that I actually had to stop looking at Facebook and Pinterest.  Some of my favorite quiet times had somehow morphed into moments that made me feel like a worthless, pathetic, inadequate mess.  All of my faults and failures seemed to rise from the computer screen and hit me in the face with each picture I saw of grand, expensive family vacations that I wasn't financially able to take my family on, delicious recipes that I wasn't cooking, beautiful outfits that I didn't have, gorgeous homes decorated to perfection that I could never afford, and toned and muscled bodies that I didn't see in the mirror.  I had to combat these feelings with some serious soul searching.  I had to take a break from social media and hit the reset button of my mind.  I had to do some fasting and praying.  Most importantly, I had to take mental note of everything I had to be thankful for; and as the list grew longer, my feelings of inadequacy shortened.  I had to realize that I am who I am—that I'll never be anyone else—and to love me for me, despite my many imperfections.  I'm still trying to realize it each day, actually.

Don't kill the quiet.

In this crazy, busy life full of technology where absolutely nothing is personal anymore, take the time to turn it all off, sit outside or go for a walk, and let the sun shine on your face and the breeze mess up your hair.  I've never needed the quiet more in my life than I do now.  In the extremely rare moments that I have all to myself, most of the time I like to be completely silent.  I won't say (or sing) a word.  If ever I'm alone in the car, it's very rare that I play music.  About a year ago I had a job that required an hour long commute to work every day.  It became my most favorite time of the day.  I just drove...in complete and utter silence.  Nothing but my mind going 90 to nothing.  And I tried to even silence that part of me, but it was incredibly difficult.  I've been around people who can't sit still, literally.  They can't look at another human being in the eye and carry on a 10 minute conversation without pulling out their phone.  It drives me crazy, mainly because that used to be me.  I now try to make a conscious effort to leave my phone in my pocket, especially when I'm with other people.  I go to a restaurant and see couples sitting there, both on their phones, completely ignoring each other; and it makes my heart hurt.  Let me tell you something: your cell phone can ruin your marriage.  Put it away.  Talk to each other.  And when you're alone, don't say anything at all.  Be quiet for a moment or two.  Let everything calm down a bit; turn off the distractions; and embrace the silence.  I think you'll find there's an awful lot out there worth listening to that's not plugged up to something electronic.

For Pete's sake, say "please" and "thank you"!

What on earth has happened to common courtesy?  Show me an adult who keeps the words "please" and "thank you" active in their daily vocabulary and I'll nearly faint.  I'm utterly dumbfounded these days when it comes to outright rudeness.  It has gotten to the point that I see common courtesy (which is by far not common anymore) as a sign of actual maturity, dignity, and intelligence.  It's no wonder kids these days don't know how to act.  They have pitiful examples at home.  Although I'm in no way the perfect parent, I have actually learned something about raising kids (I have three).  If you'll say "please" and "thank you" to your kids, they'll pick up on it and say it to others.  Wow!  Shocking, isn't it?  When someone compliments you, say, "Thank you."  When someone gives you a gift, say, "Thank you."  When someone is simply nice to you and holds the door for you instead of letting it slam in your face, say, "Thank you."  Good grief!  What are we—a bunch of cyborgs?!  Or is it that we're just really that stuck on ourselves that we can't stoop down to a commoner's level and show a hint of politeness?  Can you tell that this is one of my pet peeves?

Righty tighty, lefty loosey...

Words of wisdom!  I can't tell you how many times I've said that little phrase to myself.  It's simply amazing how much it's helped.  Thought I'd throw it in for good measure.  :)

Old people are amazing.

There are few things in life that bring me more pleasure than sitting down and talking with an elderly person who still has their wits about them (and even those who don't).  They've lived through so much, survived so many obstacles, and are brimming with wisdom and knowledge.  They deserve our utmost respect.  They deserve to be heard.  They deserve to tell the world what for because, if anyone knows about anything, they do.  If you still have grandparents or, better yet, great-grandparents, cherish every moment you can with them.  Pick up the phone and say hello.  Go see them.  And if you don't have any elderly relatives living, then do yourself a favor and go visit a retirement home somewhere; pull up a chair, and make a new friend.  If nothing more, you'll enrich the life of that sweet person in their last days.  And who knows?  You just might learn something.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is one thing, but being forgiven when you're in the wrong is quite another.  If anything in this life is the epitome of the heart of Jesus Christ, it's when someone forgives you when you've hurt them.  You'll never fully appreciate nor understand forgiveness at it's core until you've been forgiven yourself.  My husband and I were talking about how God forgives and forgets (see Isaiah 43:25 and Hebrews 8:12).  He brought out a very good point.  The fact that He forgives is not the God part of it.  It's the part where He actually forgets—that's the God part.  That's the part we as humans can't comprehend.  We can forgive, but we'll always remember.  But to actually forget...that's truly divine.  And it's absolutely beautiful.

There isn't much that dry toast and hot tea can't fix.

It's gotten me through three pregnancies, countless stomach bugs, the flu, migraine headaches, or just a bad day in general.  Don't get me wrong; I'm a coffee girl to the core.  But there are times that coffee just isn't the answer.  There are times when nothing but hot tea will suffice.  The next time you feel like death warmed over, give it a shot.  Piping hot, dry, nothing-on-it toast and a cup of mild, steaming hot tea with just a pinch of sugar in it.  You will feel better.  I promise.

Cold, rainy days heal the soul.

Call me crazy; but I absolutely love autumn days with dreary, overcast skies, a hint of cold wind, and a steady, light rain.  I love it even more if I can curl up with a blanket, a book, and a cup of coffee by the window so I can enjoy it.  It doesn't take much to please me, and this is one of those ridiculous things that I love.  It does something to me; I can't quite explain it.  But it makes me feel very happy.  Try to find peace in moments like these instead of complaining about the dreary weather.  It's there.

True best friends are an absolute gift from God.

I've only had a few; and because of life, miles, and hectic schedules, I really don't have any the way I'd love to have them right now.  Those of you who have that best buddy in the world that you can call literally day or night, 24/7, and never worry about a thing—someone who knows your mind and heart inside and out, someone who absolutely loves and looks for ways to make you feel special, someone you can hop in the car with on the spur of the moment and go have a fun day together—you've been blessed.  Truly blessed.  Please don't ever take it for granted.


I guess I've rambled on enough for one blog post.  Maybe there's some nugget in here that will do someone out there some good.  I truly hope so.  Even better, if you have a blog and you've posted such things that you have learned, please leave me a link in the comments.  I'd love to read it.  Like I said earlier, the older you are, the more I think you actually know something. :) Have a wonderfully blessed day, my friends.

The Spider and the Moth

My home was recently invaded by a really big, annoying moth.  You know the kind... seemingly the wingspan of an albatross that flies around all crazy like, bumping into everything.  I'm not quite sure how it ended up in a teeny little spiderweb in the bottom corner of my fireplace, but it did.  Why in the world I sat and watched the following, I'll never know, but it grabbed my curiosity when I saw that huge moth struggling to get out of the nearly invisible, tiny web.  I thought it was just another old cobweb that I missed the last time I dusted, but upon closer inspection I realized it was indeed occupied.  Perhaps one of the smallest spiders I've ever seen was carefully making its way toward the struggling giant caught in its two or three strand web.  What a catch!  I hate spiders with a burning passion, but I was almost proud of this little girl... or fella... as it slowly descended upon its prey that was probably ten times its own size.  I thought surely the giant moth would escape the seemingly insignificant threads... but it didn't.  The more it struggled, the more entangled it became.  I didn't feel up to being a hero and trying to save the moth simply because of that tiny spider and my fear of all things that have more than four legs, so I walked on for a bit.  When I returned I saw the cacoon of web spun around the moth and the little spider enjoying his/her supper... and it made me stop and think... it's not always the big webs that catch us.  Those tiny little strands in life, the "harmless" things that we allow on a daily basis because they are so small, they can be more dangerous than we think.  Just because you're big and strong doesn't necessarily mean you'll always escape the small webs.  The little things really do matter.

Just a thought from a sleep deprived mind who's been up all night with cold-like symptoms with sever allergies.  You never know what "genius" thoughts can come from being sick.  :)

Topsy Turvy

It's so amazing to me how fast things can change.

Just about the time life seems to fall into a predictable routine something can suddenly derail and completely reroute your present course, oftentimes requiring a paradigm shift in your way of thinking.  Sometimes these changes happen gradually, in slow steps that you can see and prepare for in advance.  Other times it's seemingly overnight with no warning at all.  And then there are those weird times that it's a little bit of both... things changing slowly right in front of you giving you a sense of something to come but then that something arrives much faster than anticipated leaving you breathless and anxious with an overall sense of chaos and confusion.

Well, such has been my life over the past several months.  I saw something coming, wasn't sure of the details exactly, but definitely something coming that would bring about change, but when it hit it happened so fast it left my head spinning.  This change is right, timely, and in God's will for our lives.  Just because it happened fast doesn't mean it happened in a hasty, thrown together decision at the last minute.

After much prayer and careful consideration, my family and I have resigned this past October from the work at Greater Faith Tabernacle in Greenville, MS where my husband has been Pastor for the past two years.  This has been one of the most difficult decisions of our lives.  We dearly love each and every member and will miss them greatly.  

When you give your life over to God and place everything in His hands in complete surrender, and pray daily that He would order your steps and lead you in His will, it's not that shocking to be seemingly uprooted from one situation only to be planted in another.  Such is the life of ministry... this I well know.  All of my life, from the very day I was born, I have lived in the home of a minister.  Being raised in the Truth and watching my parents prayerfully respond to callings and burdens throughout my life, I have come to understand concept of change.  I married a minister, who was also raised in the home of a minister, so both my husband and I have a hold on the importance of following the will of God for our lives.  Sometimes that will can lead you through doors you were fully anticipating walking through, sometimes it doesn't.  The important thing is knowing the voice of God, and correctly responding to it.

We are now living in Oxford, MS and working with Pastor Glen Williams at Christ the Rock Apostolic Church.  My husband has been installed as Youth Pastor (and Pastor's Assistant).  This church holds a very special place in my heart, as it was founded by my Dad when I was a teenager.  I couldn't be happier about this change, being much closer to friends and family, as well as the school my children were based out of while we were homeschooling in Greenville.  (The school, Oxford Christian Academy, is an extension of the ministry of the church we now attend.). We lived with my parents for the first 4 months until the dust settled and we could get our feet back under us.  I honestly felt sorry for them!  It was a crowded, crazy few months but it was wonderful being with them so much.  I had missed them more than words could say.  In February of this year (Valentine's Day, to be exact!) the Lord blessed us with a beautiful home.  I was amazed at how it all just fell into place.  It was only another confirmation of what we already knew, we were right where we were supposed to be.  Things are still in boxes in the garage and everything is not exactly like we want it, but we feel so at home here.  

Another major change in my life has occurred, one I would have never seen coming.  I'm now learning the family business at The Denture Lab, working for my father-in-law.   This nurse is no longer a nurse, but instead a dental technician in training!  Ha!  Who'd have ever thought I'd learn to make dentures.  :)  I honestly love it.  

The days and weeks quickly turned into months.  It feels as though time has been let loose, like a child who's finally been told they can unwrap their Christmas presents.  It's difficult to describe, but it feels as though I'm sitting back watching my life change before my eyes but not really participating in it.  "Dreamlike" is the best word I can think of to describe it.  I've been having to remind myself that this is really happening.  Every day we've been back home has gone by in a flurried whirlwind of activity.  From moving day till now, the days have just ran together for me.  There's been something major going on just about every time I find a minute to sit down and catch my breath.  November birthdays, Christmas, and the New Year have all zoomed before my eyes.  I've seen winter hit with a fury that has finally let go, and now Spring is all around us.  I am utterly amazed at how quickly time has flown by.  The girls have grown so much since leaving Greenville.  All three of them are in new shoe and dress sizes.  I can't keep up!

With life seemingly flipped all topsy turvy, I'm reminded of something I used to enjoy doing as a child.  I'd lay on the couch with my head dangling off the side and look at everything around me upside down.  Things took on a new appearance when viewed from a different perspective.  For just a moment I was out of the rut of the everyday norm.  With my blond wisps of hair flopped around my ears, my cheeks turning pink, and my head starting to feel dizzy and heavy, I'd take in the room around me.  The light fixture turned into a weird looking table.  The ceiling became a bumpy floor.  Chairs and tables suddenly defied gravity.  It was so cool!  (there wasn't much to occupy my time as an only child.  I did what I could.)  :)  But now I kind of see life that way.  Our world can be turned upside down and things still be positive, especially when we live in faith by putting our trust in the One who created it in the first place.  The next time you get thrown a curveball in life and you start to feel the pressures of change, go flip your head upside down somewhere and find a cool table like I did.  It will make you feel better, I promise!  Take another look from a different perspective.

Not to sound cliche', but the saying is really true; the more things change, the more they stay the same.  We may not see some things coming ahead of time, or we may actually be prepared for it and watch it happen without shock.  We may feel a sense of change without knowing the full reason.  Whatever the situation, whatever my past or present course, whatever mysteries may lie ahead around the next bend, I rest in the knowledge that my God's got this.  Whoever said the following knew what they were talking about, "I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I'm glad I know who holds tomorrow."

As Time Goes By...

Time.

What an amazing concept.  When you stop and really think about it, time is by far one of the most incomprehensible phenomenons known to mankind.  Throughout my years of teaching Sunday School to children of all ages, from pre-schoolers to college and career students, there has only been one way I have been able to describe time.  It's the very same way my Daddy explained it to me as a child.  He drew a circle on a piece of paper and said that before the beginning of anything there was God, and there was no such thing as time.  Then he drew a simple line in the top part of the circle.  He explained how God simply stepped in and "drew" a line in the circle, creating time, which from that point on everything had a beginning and an ending.

Because of that line, our brains have a difficult time understanding the concept of eternity.  It is quite amazing to think how one of these days God will step in once again... and simply erase the line.  The short amount of time that we have been given as individuals to decide where we will be when that line is erased is by far the most precious gift we have ever or will ever be given.

Each year, we celebrate the date that marks the beginning of our own beginning.  We call it a birthday.  Just yesterday, I turned another year older.  One more drop in the countdown of my personal timeline, the time that I have been given to determine how I will spend eternity.  It's a sobering thought, but not one of dread or worry for me, because in the words of one of my favorite childhood Christian music bands, "I've got time on my side".  You see, when this life is over for me, that's when my true life will begin...a life that will never end.

Another thought to ponder... there is more to time than just a beginning and an ending.  There are beautiful periods of time within time itself called seasons.  I'm not just referring to the four seasons of each year (which Autumn is my favorite by far!).  There are seasons in our own lives.  Ecclesiastes chapter 3 says it so well, I wanted to include it in this post.  I know we've all heard it so many times before, but sometimes I like to read these verses again and see them through the "glasses" of a personal perspective.

 ^"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end."

          Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Seasons are needed.  Seasons have purpose.  Seasons are vital to our very existence.  Without the changing of seasons in our lives, there would be no growth.  Things would always stay the same, whether good or bad.  Nichole Nordeman sings a beautiful song called Every Season (see video below), which captures the heart of my thoughts on recognizing God in each season of our lives.

 

My personal desire is to  always remember that time is a precious gift, that time brings seasons, that seasons bring needed change, and that change brings new growth.  As I look back over the past 33 years of my life, and try to look at the unknown years ahead, I want these thoughts to be etched into my heart and mind.  I pray that whatever time I am given, be it one day or 50 more years, that it will be time well spent in the light of eternity.  Just as a breath is breathed in and out again, so is the beginning and ending of this earthly life bound by the laws of time... only to be forever released to the eternal.  To believe in life after death only to realize you were wrong, you've lost nothing.  To not believe now only to awaken in the light of eternity, you've lost everything.   Be sure you know where you stand when your own line is erased.

Not Good Enough

It was time for P.E. class at school, the time of day the little girl dreaded the most.  Quiet, shy, and basically withdrawn from most every student in the entire school, except for two other 6th graders, she never told anyone how much she loathed having to go to the gym every afternoon, not even her parents.  But being the obedient child she had always been, she never balked when the teacher announced P.E. time.  She would go to the girls bathroom, change into her modest culottes and tennis shoes with the rest of the girls from the Christian school, and bravely walk into the gym.

Some days she was lucky, when the teacher would instruct them to go out into the football field and run laps, something she could do on her own, with no one else watching or criticizing.  Other days the teacher would not be available for awhile and they would all be instructed to go into the gym and do some form of physical activity, where groups would usually form and she would be left alone to walk around the gym with no other distraction from her quiet thoughts.  She liked those days.

But today was not such a day.

The teacher announced "volleyball", and teams were formed.  As always, she was the last standing to be picked.  How she hated standing there every time there was a game where teams had to be formed.  She had to go to the side lacking a player, and it immediately began... the looks, the rolled eyes, the huffs and sighs.  How she hated P.E. time.

She took her place where she was told to stand, and the game began.  Stomach already in knots, heart racing, she tried her best to remain calm and just get through the game.  One more game.  "You can do this", she would tell herself inwardly.  "Just watch the ball and try to hit it."  "It's just you and the ball, no one else.  It's only a game."

The ball was served from the opposing team, and as if it searched her out willfully, it came straight over the net directly to her.  She attempted to hit it.  She missed.  Thus started the game with frazzled nerves and irritated teammates.

The game progressed, and points were scored on each side.  They managed to knock her out of the way when the ball came too close to her.  They grumbled and complained whenever she tried and missed.  And then it was her turn to serve.  The game was close, her team was losing by only a point.  "Oh, man... come on!", she heard an older teen girl say.  "Get it over with.", another said.  "We're gonna lose", echoed another.  She swallowed hard, closed her eyes briefly, held out the ball, and hit it with all her might.  She watched in silence as it veer off to the far right.  Protests and sneering remarks came from both sides, some laughed, some whispered to others or under their breath.  She couldn't take it any longer.  She didn't say a word as the tears fell from her young face.  She simply turned and walked away.

That was the last volleyball game she would ever play.

That little girl was me.

I'm not sure why that memory occurred to me today.   It came from nowhere, just out of the blue.  I haven't ever shared that memory with anyone, or ever explained why I like to watch volleyball but never play.  My senior year of high school, just having moved back to the area I had been away from for 4 years, I was given the job of keeping the score book for the Lady Warriors.  I went to each game, even attended every practice, and cheered them on with as much enthusiasm as the coach.  I loved being able to be apart, even if it meant sitting on the sidelines.  Watching those girls play so hard and win most games they played was a true joy.  But being in that same gym again brought back a few haunting memories every now and then.  Those old feelings of shame, of not being good enough, of never being picked on a team, of nervousness and dread, they would creep up every once in awhile.  But by that time I was a pro when it came to swallowing down unwanted feelings and hiding behind a smile.  Besides, what did it matter?  I was just a little girl.  It was all so silly.  Just a part of growing up.

Even now I feel so embarrassed just thinking about it.  But looking back to that senior year, and remembering the 6th grade and how it impacted my life, I have come to realize the importance of talking things through with a friend.  Yes, it may be seemingly unimportant or even utter nonsense, but anytime feelings of self-loathing, or feelings that drastically effect one's sense of self worth are involved, I have found out the hard way it is very important to try to talk it out.  Because speaking your mind, especially about how you see yourself, is a way to overcome those feelings.   Keeping things bottled up inside for half your life can ultimately lead to a habit of bottling up every feeling, not just the bad ones.  I've often wondered how many people live their lives behind a mask, portraying one image but really living another, all the while bottling up feelings and emotions that really need to be shared with someone who truly cares for them. 

It may be a good idea to open the dusty trunk of childhood memories every now and then and go through a few.  I think the ones usually buried there are the ones we try to forget.  But in doing so we may just figure out a reason why we tend to do one thing or another today.  I am a firm believer in knowing the "why", not just the "what".  The "why" is much more vital!

Being a nurse, I have been trained to know the rationale behind each action.  That was actually my least favorite part of nursing school.  Not only were we trained to do a task perfectly, but if we were not able to explain why we did it, we would fail just as if we hadn't done a single step right.   Wow.  How much easier life would be if we could step back and ask ourselves why.  Maybe then we could figure out how to solve the problem.

Just some ramblings today from the recesses of a full mind.  Most of my blog posts are not this personal.  This one may even be a bit dull, but it's something I felt like writing.  Having that old memory come up again today, I wanted to ponder it a little... so I pondered out loud.  :)     

       

The Birthday Candle Glow

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning." 

                                                                                                  James 1:17, KJV

I've seen it so many times throughout my life, but I never really pondered the thought until last night.  The lights are dim, the room is full of people loudly singing colorful variations of notes and tones of "Happy birthday to you...", and then it happens.  Someone is lovingly making their way to the recipiant of a cake, store bought or homemade, it makes no difference, for the taste is not what truly matters.  It's all about that one moment... when you first see the golden glow of the candles reflected onto a smiling face who is bringing your birthday cake to you.  Usually a protective hand shields them so that they don't prematurely blow out, because those tiny flames are just for you.


I haven't researched the history of why we make a wish and blow out the candles.  What an odd tradition.  When you stop and think about it, a forceful blow of air from ones mouth all over a shared cake is not a very sanitary idea.  But we do it anyway.  And once the wish as been made and the tiny flames are extenguished, a roar of laughter, handclaps, and cheers are echoed throughout the room.


You have lived another year.


Have you ever been in a public place, such as a restaurant, where you observe the above scene from afar?  It is almost impossible not to smile.  Sure, he or she is a perfect stranger that you know no better than Adam's housecat... but you can't stop the small tug at the corner of your mouth, or even sometimes cheer or clap along with the group.  Why?  There's just something about those precious few seconds when everyone watches the cake make it's way to the birthday recipiant... that moment when the flames disappear and the little stream of smoke rises immediately after.


It's a happy moment.  It's a celebrated moment.  It's one of those few moments in life where all is perfect and well.  It's a moment never to be taken for granted, for the gift of life is a precious gift, indeed.

 
A healthy heart beat is amazing and wonderful.  Just ask the man or woman struggling to take their next breath while their name appears on a very long list among others who wait for an available heart for transplantation.  An easy, comfortable, satisfying breath of air inhaled and exhaled from healthy lungs is like invisible gold.  Just ask one dying of lung cancer who would give anything for a few seconds of that pain-free experience.  Time spent with friends and family at a reunion, a party, or just in a living room playing a game or talking is invaluable.  Just ask someone who has to spend 4-6 hours in a dialysis unit 3 times per week, hooked up to a machine that literally pulls every ounce of strength from your body, in a room filled with other sick patients, strong chemical smells, and loud noises.


You may be unhappy with your present set of circumstances in your life.  Things may not be going your way at home or at work.  You may be flat out miserable, or perhaps even find yourself wishing you had a way out.  But I assure you of one thing... it could be much, much worse.

 
If you have a healthy body, if you have friends and family who truly love you, then you are beyond blessed.  Each and every single day of your life is a precious gift from the one and only gracious, loving, merciful God.  Live each day to the best of your ability with a thankful heart.  Celebrate each new year you've been given...  and never take for granted the next time you see the birthday candle glow.



photo by http://www.flickr.com/photos/robdebsgreen/with/2277823216/

Three buttons that can change your life...

The computer and I do not get along.

For whatever reason, I have a mental block when it comes to comprehending all things electronic.  I've never had to take a computer course, believe it or not.  I graduated from nursing school the very year they decided to make that class a requirement.  Whew.  Something tells me my "A" average would have swiftly dropped.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love email and Facebook.  I enjoy blogging, obviously.  Pinterest is simply fabulous.  I like the conveniences of computer technology, and I know just enough to get by.  But when I encounter a problem with it, well... patience ceases to be a virtue.

My poor husband, who has a degree in programming and who is a computer guru, has tried to help me out a few times.  Remember my previous words... mental block.  But one thing he has shown me actually stuck, took root, and remained implanted in my crowded and disorganized brain.  Three beautiful key combinations... and don't laugh, yes I had to learn about this... "Ctrl+Alt+Del".  Wow!  What an amazing, wonderful, beautiful thing that happens when those keys are pushed together...  END TASK!!!  This laptop I use is notoriously slow, and many times it will freeze up, for lack of a more educated word, and it Drives. Me. Insane.  Ah, but I have a solution!  A few keystrokes, and I can stop the things that are slowing it down.  Amazing.

Wouldn't it be marvelous if we had those keys to push in our lives when needed?  Especially us women.  We've got SO many things going at once.  Talk about overload.  How many little "programs" do we having running at the same time?  How many "windows" do we have open at once?  And I'm not just talking about the many things crowding our everyday lives, vying for our precious time and attention.  What about all the things in our minds?  What about all that stuff that we don't talk about with anyone else?  All the problems we're trying to solve on our own, all the worries weighing us down... we could all probably use a little "end task" time.

There's got to be a way that we can push those keys, point and click our mouse, and stop some things that are hindering our progress.  Things that might have seemed important at the time we started them, but have actually become a weight.  Things that take too much energy from us.  Things that pull our focus and attention away from the more vital things going on around and inside of us.  Things that slow us down and stop us from running smoothly.

Have a few of those things popped into your mind?  Can you visualize that list of things that would come up if we chose to end a few tasks?  Go through that mental list.  Which ones are the most important?  Which ones could be deleted to help lighten the load?

May God help us all to prioritize, rearrange, and give us the knowledge of when and how to end some tasks.

(A must-have for every living room, haha...)

   

Choose and Keep...

 ^"Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."

Luke 10:38-42, KJV


How many times have I heard sermons taken from this text throughout my life?  How many ladies meetings have I sat through, even been a part of, with these Scriptures as the theme?  How many times have I read these verses casually, or even carefully?  Many, many times.

As I was praying Monday night, the familiar Scriptures above came to my mind.  I picked up a Bible and searched, it didn't take me very long to find the reference.  I read the verses, then I reread them, then I read them again.  Something kept compelling me to read it over and over until I finally saw something that may seem quite simple to you, dear readers.  But I needed to see it.

Martha, as we all know, was being a woman at her "best"... busy.  As a wife and mother, I feel that I am not worth anything unless I'm up doing something.  I feel downright guilty for sitting down in the middle of the day, when my kitchen is calling to me, my laundry room is screaming at me, and the rest of my house is roaring at me for my time and attention.  So many days recently I have battled with severe headaches, unexplained fatigue, and and overall feeling of just plain horrible.  My body has forced me to sit, even *gasp* nap when I can.  And I always, always feel guilty for it.  I feel lazy, worthless, and usually wake up from a fretful tossing and turning "sleep" feeling even worse than when I laid down.  My brain will NOT turn off, long after my body has tried.  Sometimes I just want to cry about it.  There is this organized, amazing, Martha Stewart meets Betty Crocker woman that I desperately want to be.  I can try, pitifully, but I mostly fail.  I end up not being productive, but just being busy, seemingly spinning my wheels.  Like Martha, I am careful... very careful, mind you... about many things.  And it just leads to being troubled.

I can just see it in my mind... Martha pouring over recipes until she finds just the right ones, gathering all the needed food, making lists, going to the market, coming home, prepping, cutting, preparing it all.  Her mind racing ahead to the next few hours and all that needs to be made ready.  And that's just the kitchen... what about the rest of the house?  Is it clean?  Is everything not just presentable but perfect for this great man about to enter her home, the place that represents her very self?  Where is Mary?!  Where is my help?!  Do I have to do EVERYTHING by myself?!  I have so much to do, so little time...

And she looks in the next room, ready to snap, every nerve on fire... and there is her sister.  SITTING DOWN.  Listening to this man speak... she gets to hear the sermon!  I can't listen to the sermon, I'm too busy doing everything else!  Why can't I get to be a part of that?  I invited Him to my home, and I'm stuck in my kitchen while she soaks up the benefits!  This won't do...

She was so upset, He had to say her name twice.  Twice.  Think about that!  As a mother of three small children, that means a great deal to me.  Yes, He saw that she was being careful, but He also saw her trouble.  Funny how those words are back to back.

So many things pull us in so many different directions.  We become so wrapped up in going and doing, giving everything we have until we fall into an exhausted, restless sleep late at night.  We lay there, minds racing, until the minutes turn to hours, yes... hours.  Feelings of never being good enough plague our minds.  We compare ourselves and everything we have or don't have with every other woman we meet.  No wonder women these days are walking around with plastic smiles, keeping things bottled up until we literally break. 

But Mary... she had "chosen the good part".  First of all, the word "chosen"... whoa!  She had a choice?!  That's a sermon in itself!  And what good part?  She "sat at His feet, and heard His word".  My, my... in order to hear what He was saying, she had to be still for just a minute.  And that's not all... the Lord also said, "...which shall not be taken away from her."  That stood out to me for the very first time, as beautiful as a red tulip against green blades of grass...

It can't be taken away.

Lord, help me to rest at Your feet.  However possible, in whatever way, help me to MAKE THE TIME for You. 

Help me to listen to Your words.  Help me be quiet.  Help me be still. 

Help me to choose and keep that good part.  Like picking out what piece of cake I wanted as a child... like choosing the cutest puppy or kitten in the litter... like shopping in the produce section, picking up, smelling, feeling for the freshest and best... help me to choose the good part.  And most of all, help me to hold on to it.  Just like Ellie clung to me the first time she was ever in a pool, may I grasp it... and hold on for dear life.  

Bring on the rain...

"We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know that pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home
It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise"

-Laura Story, Blessings


 Trials actually being mercies?  Crazy thought, but true.  So true.

Buried Blessings

Since moving to our new home, things have been quite hectic for everyone.  Adjusting to a total life change has effected each member of our little family, but none of us have felt the pressure and burden of fulfilling a new role as much as my husband.  While juggling a full-time job on the side, he has become a new pastor, as well as wearing the hats of daddy and spouse.  All things considered, it's quite easy to understand how our yard has been a bit neglected.

We have two, huge, lovely trees in our front yard, as well as a surrounding wall of trees on each side, and even a few Magnolias in the front.  Our house is pretty well hidden from the main road.  I said all that to say this, our yard was completely full of leaves.  And I don't mean just a scattered layer... no, I mean completely hidden under a thick blanket of leaves.  With the swing set in the back yard where the girls play, and since the entrance we use to our house is in the back under the carport, we've had no need to keep the front yard clear.  And so the leaves had accumulated to massive proportions.

But a couple of days ago, a young man came knocking on our door, rake in hand, eager for a job.  We gladly hired him to rake the front yard, and off he went.  Bless his heart, he had a job to do!  But after about an hour and a half, the blanket of leaves were neatly piled in rows, revealing a patchy, mostly bald yard.  Why on earth have I blogged about my pitiful yard?  Because I noticed something.  (How I love to look at the plain, ordinary happenings of life and see the lessons hidden in them!)  I have a wonderful, full-windowed vantage point sitting at my desk overlooking the front yard, and since it was raked, I have noticed the number of birds that have swooped down to feast on the insects (now homeless vagabonds without their leave-covered world) scurrying about.  And the lesson I have learned is this... many times, life-sustaining blessings can be found buried under the dead things we have let accumulate in our lives.

With a little work, a bit of effort, we can clean up the old, dead "leaves"... and we just might find something hidden under there worth sharing with someone else, something beneficial to others.  So take a look out your front window.  What's laying around your yard?  Does it need some sprucing up (or in my case, a total makeover)?  Dust off the rake.  Clean up the dead things that hide the smothered green life trying to thrive underneath.  In the process, you'll not only improve your face value, you just might find something worthy of sharing with someone else.

"What a beauiful mess I'm in..."

My hand held kitchen mixer is in my den floor. There's a tiny purse in my kitchen.  A giant hula hoop graces my  living room.  One shoe each of about 4 different pairs lies scattered near the piano.  A huge stuffed green frog is looking at me from my foyer.  Daddy's left shoe and a couch pillow found their way into the hall.  A transformer and baby doll bottle are in the girl's bathroom.  An empty Capri Sun container is on my dresser.  A tiny red t-shirt is in the office.  Wow... and in the time it took for me to type all that, a bottle of Children's Tylenol and Ibuprofen now decorate the hearth.  The more I pick up, the more things magically appear.  I am surrounded by little noses to wipe and spilled drinks to mop.  I have a points reward account online for all the diapers and wipes I buy.  Chocolate milk and apple juice is in my fridge more than any other liquid.  I have detangled more curls than Rapunzel could ever dream of.  The cover warming me right now is an old baby blanket instead of a nice throw.   

This is my world.  And I wouldn't trade it for anything.   

Constant

"I've lost some good friends along life's way
Some loved ones departed in heaven to stay
But thank God I didn't lost everything
I've lost faith in people who said they cared
In time of my crisis they were never there
But in my disappointment, in my season of pain
One thing never wavered, one thing never changed

I've let some blessings slip away
When I lost my focus and went astray
But thank God I didn't lost everything
I lost possessions that were so dear
I lost some battles walking in fear
But in the midst of my struggles, in my season of pain
One thing never wavered, one thing never changed

I never lost my hope,
I never lost my joy
I never lost my faith
But most of all, I never lost my praise"

-Kurt Carr
 

Ever heard that one song that brings the thought, "I could have written that one..."?  This is one such song for me.

Random thoughts for the day...

You can't please everyone.  People let you down.  People change.  They change what they say, what they think, how they act.  I'm so glad that in the midst of crises in our lives, in the midst of change, when you can't trust anyone from one literal minute to the next, I'm so glad that I have something to hold onto.  I have my faith.  My faith brings hope and joy.  And my faith is made manifest in my praise.  When we serve only ourselves, we hurt others.  It's inevitable.  But when we put others before ourselves we find true joy.  Everyone needs a constant in their life, that one thing that never changes, for the GOOD.  I guess there are plenty of constants in life that aren't so good.  But we each need that one good thing.  I found my constant.  My unchanging north star, so to speak.  When my world is spinning, I can look up and see it unmoving, always there.  Never wavering.  I have my faith.  I have my praise.         

A look back... a step forward.

Wow. What a year. It feels more like a lifetime instead of 12 months. By far, this year has been the most significant of my life. I wish that I could say that because of all my wonderful achievements, goals met, or improvements made. But no, it's just been a year of significant change. It's been a year of self reflection. It's been a year of lives turned completely upside down and inside out. It's been 2011. So, if you care to take a trip with me through last year, then walk with me for a bit. I'll share a few highlights.


This time last year, my family and I were living in Ecru, MS. I specifically remember January for all the snow we had in one month, which was quite unusual for northeast MS. It was the first time we all went outside and built a snowman... or snow woman, not really sure which, seeing as how ours had a big yellow plastic sunflower stuck in the top of the head next to the striped maroon toboggan. The girls also learned how to build a snow fort, which was really pretty cool if you ask me. Jordan got her wish of making a snow angel. I can still see her face as she plunged into a pile of snow and furiously waved her arms and legs. I spent that month doing a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching, a lot of worry over dear friends going through difficult times, a lot of dreaming, a lot of debating, and I did it all classic Jennifer style... all very quietly and inwardly without really speaking of any of it to much of anyone.

February. Just thinking of that month brings innumerable emotions back to the surface. Moving along.

March. My 10 year anniversary trip to Saint Simons Island, GA. (thanks for the idea, Brittany!!) My husband and I enjoyed a few days on the Georgia coast, including our first tour of a lighthouse (all the way to the top!), incredible food, and a beachfront hotel suite. Who knew that you could have your own little piece of paradise only one day's drive away from MS?

April and May kind of run together in my mind. The biggest thing that happened for us during this time was Rachel graduating from Kindergarten. She had her own special day with just mommy, she got to choose where she wanted to eat lunch (Chili's) with mommy and daddy, she got to go shopping, and then that night was filled with family, fun, and lots of smiles and pictures. Yes, I cried. Twice.

June. My chubby ray of sunshine, my Ellie-Belle, turned one year old. Unreal. Her party was Strawberry Shortcake themed with pinks, greens, blues, and yellows. I'll never forget walking through Walmart battling 10 helium filled balloons, causing all kinds of unwanted attention. Ugh.

July. Ever heard of the phrase "at a fork in the road"? Always makes me think of Kermit and Fozzie singing that song in the Muppet Movie where they come to a literal, huge fork in the road...ha. Anyway, that was me. And, much like the song, "movin' right along".

August. This is where it all got interesting. My husband accepted the call to pastor a small congregation in Greenville, MS at Greater Faith Tabernacle. If you missed reading about this time in our lives, go back to "A new chapter" and "The first week of a new life" in my blog. This month is also when Rachel was filled with the Holy Ghost and was baptized! We packed up our belongings, with the help of Del's parents, without whom we'd NEVER have gotten moved (THANK YOU!!!), we said our goodbyes as best we could manage, and off we went. During this time, the girls were able to start the school year off at Oxford Christian Academy (Jordan's first day!) while everything went underway with the move. I'm ever so thankful for this school and I'm so glad the girls can still be a part of it through fun field trips and activities.

September and October are flurried memories of unpacking, beginning the adventure of homeschooling my girls, starting a new job as a private duty nurse for a 4 year old special little boy with SMA, and of course, starting a brand new role as a pastor's wife. What a whirlwind! It's all just a blur. But I do specifically remember one thing, and it's hilarious in light of all the change in my life. I hung curtains for the first time ever. Haha!

November. I turned 32, Jordan turned 5, Rachel turned 7, and my Mother remained her beautiful, young age of 29. :) I was treated to a delicious dinner at my new favorite restaurant here in the Delta, Posecais. My husband and I also packed up the girls and drove a total of 6 hours in one day to vote on Proposition 26. Oh, and on a side note, I received 110 birthday wishes on Facebook! Wow. In comparison to my 15 the year before, that's quite a difference.

December. We put up our Christmas tree with the girls, and they delighted in hanging pretty ornaments in the oddest places, most of which were clumped together along the bottom. I discovered online shopping!! For those of you who truly know me, you can appreciate that small fact, seeing as how I LOATHE shopping of any kind. But this year, I didn't fight the first crowd or stand in the first line. I simply clicked a mouse. Beautiful. And the girls had a wonderful Christmas, probably the best ever.  Amazing things happened at Christmas this year, most of which are personal and private victories. In fact, the biggest events that happened in my life this year are things I will remain silent about.

We ended this year in a special way. We took a quick trip to North Little Rock, AR. Just an overnight, post-holidays getaway. It was fun and relaxing. We brought in the new year in a quiet house, just the two of us. (the girls were on their own vacation with grandparents) It was the most special new year's eve I've ever had. If there was any way I'd want to start a new year, it's not in a crowded room filled with loud, drunk people. It's not even with a small group of family and friends with games and fun conversation. There is no better way to bring in a new year and turn over a new leaf than in the arms of someone you love, that same someone who loves you back. That's the way it should be. That's the way I hope to bring in each new year to come.

I will not make any new resolutions, because, let's face it... who really meets those goals anyway? I will not set myself up for disappointment by making a list of things I can't accomplish. Instead, I'll list a few things I actually DID accomplished this past year, things that were good.

• I started a blog! Yay! A hobby!

• I lost weight, quite a bit, actually. Yes, I gained a few pounds of it back, but that's to be expected. Overall, I have maintained my weight loss very well. I'm quite proud of myself for it.

• I talked my Dad into starting Facebook. Haha!!

• I learned the value of friendship. True friendship.

• I closed a few doors that needed to be closed. Closure is a wonderful thing. It hurts, yes. But it really does help.

• I opened doors.

Here's to a new year. A new beginning. Let's move forward, shall we?

A ship in motion...

"Today, we sailed on." -Christopher Columbus

I realize there have been many blog posts and sermons about the above famous quote from one of the most important explorers of all time. History tells us that Columbus kept a journal, and in it he recorded the day's events of his sailing. Many times, all that is penned by the adventurer's hand is the plain statement, "Today, we sailed on". How simple. How profound.

Sometimes life's greatest victories are not the number of battles won. Sometimes our most colossal achievements leave us without a single trophy to proudly display. Sometimes the elementary placement of one foot in front of the other is more the prize than crossing the finish line.

To those of you who are simply pressing on today, I applaud you. I commend you. And I am among you.