Moving to a new blog site!

For anyone who may stumble across this blog site, or who may have read my blog in the past who still frequents this site, you may have noticed I haven't posted here in a while.  There are several reasons for this, but to summarize it all in one neat little sentence... 2017 was a crazy, hectic year for me.  To say that it was not my favorite year is an understatement.  It seemed to be one emergency after another, and I do believe I added to my ever growing abundance of gray hairs more this past year than any other so far.  Let's just say I was more than happy to close the door of 2017 and have eagerly opened the door to 2018 with great expectations and the promise of new mercy, new grace, and a clean slate.  Even though there were many things out of my control I believe I can personally do better this year.  I am believing for bigger and better things and have given myself 14 personal goals to carry with me into the new year, some of which I will share with you by the end of this post.

One thing I am looking forward to in the new year is trying to squeeze in more time for writing, which happens to be a passion I share with my husband.  He has started a brand new website this year called Treach the Word (which is a word play on our last name, and the fact that he's a preacher/teacher) and I have decided to take him up on his offer for a joint effort in out writing pursuits.  It is with that new chapter of writing that I will be closing this one.  I have enjoyed my amateur attempts at blogging with this site, which has mainly been just a few of the colorful ramblings of my mind brought to life in simple sentences.  I look back on these posts (which have very little to do with the exact happenings around me at those times) and can immediately recall that particular season of my life.  I learned so many lessons those few years, and went through some of the most tumultuous storms of my life.  But the main thing is, I came through them in the end.  I'm still standing, I'm still me, and I'm still writing.  (just not as often)

So... what do I want to take with me into 2018?  Peace.  I want and crave peace.  That's a pretty broad term, and it covers oh so much, but I have a deep, burning desire for this coming year to be peaceful.  Again, some things are within my control, other things aren't, but whatever may come this year I hope and pray that I claim it with elegance, with the right attitude, and with grace.  God may see fit to throw my way some of the hardest tests of my life this year, I have no idea.  But if He thinks I can handle it, then so be it.  I just want to be able to overcome it all in a way that is most pleasing to Him.

I mentioned that I jotted down a few ideas to take with me into the new year.  I'll leave you with some of them.

1. Do what you know you need to do.
2. Start the day right and end it right.
3. Don't be afraid to be who you are.  It's ok to be you.
4. Pray more, yell less.
5. Never leave a room empty handed.
6. Forgive yourself.
7. Be the friend you wish you had.
8. Make your smiles contagious.
9. Keep the soil of your heart tilled and turned. Bitterness is a root, dig deep.

It's been a pleasure having you read my blog.  I pray that I somehow left you with a smile on your face, a thought in your head, and a hope in your heart.  God bless and keep you always.  Please, come and visit me at Treach the Word sometime.

Your friend,

Jennifer

Chalkboards in the Morning

It seems as though I haven't had any inspiration for a "year in review" post.  Yes, much has happened.  And yes, there are many goals I have in mind for the year ahead.  But unlike last year, I don't have the desire to do a month by month walk back in time.  Last year was quite different; our lives had completely changed.  This time, I prefer to keep my thoughts tucked away about 2012.  Besides, those closest to me who actually read my blog know the main highlights anyway.

To wrap it all up in one neat, little bundle that I could stuff in a tiny shell and send zooming over the information highway directly to your screen:  God is merciful.  That's all that really matters.  His mercy is from everlasting to everlasting, mercies that are fresh and new each morning.  When day breaks the darkness of night and the sky awakens slowly from pitch black to a hazy gray to a beautiful light blue.  His mercy likewise changes the color of our heart's horizon.  And as sure as the sunrise, as sure as the kiss of dew on each blade of grass, as sure as dawn of another day, we are given the most valuable prize ever won:  the chance to try again.

My Dad once made what I believe to be one of the most awesome points I've ever heard on mercy.  Remember when soda companies first started the trend of prizes won under the cap or at the bottom of the can?  So many times we read over and over, "Please try again", to which my Dad taught that was the greatest prize we could ever win in our lifetime:  the chance to try again. 

I am reminded of my old 4th grade classroom chalkboard.  It was actually several huge chalkboards fitted together that covered an entire wall.  Mrs. Harris chose a student at the end of each school day, right before the last recess, for the coveted (yes, coveted) job of washing the boards.  The lucky student would go fill the old tin bucket with soap and water, and with a huge, over-sized sponge he or she would wash clean all the writings and lessons of the day.  I have no idea why it was such a desired occupation rather than going outside to the playground for that last spin on the merry-go-round with the boom box blaring in the center, that last game of kick ball with Principal Wood, that last swing on the swing set while singing to the top of one's lungs, that last opportunity to catch a yellow jacket in the half drank can of grape soda.  I waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity to my 8 year old mind for my chance to wash the boards.  Finally, it came.  I was never so happy to clean something.  (How I wish I still felt that happiness while doing housework!)  I dipped that giant sponge in the pail of tepid, sudsy water, stepped up onto the stool designated for the washer, and from top to bottom, all the way from one side of the wall to the other, I wiped clean every mark.

 Forgive my simple mind, but I see each new year like that chalkboard.  I think that the prospect of washing it all clean should be exciting, something to look forward to, to be happy about while we're doing it.  I also believe that the start of a brand new year is the perfect time to do a little soul searching, a little praying, a little fasting.  It only makes sense to me to do these things as the precious gift of the "chance to try again" is set before us.  Let the water of the Word wash you clean.  Detoxify your physical and spiritual self in a good fast.  Spend the dawn of each new day (beautifully painted with that fresh mercy!) on your knees in prayer before the rest of the world wakes up around you.

So once again, I find myself on that step stool at the chalk board, damp sponge in hand, the powdery scent of chalk in the air (because there's a lot on the board), and a smile on my face.  I'm remembering the past year I see written before me.  I see lots of laughter, lots of tears, a few achievements, a few mistakes, lessons learned, and a ton of blessings I could have never deserved.  So many memories.  Some I never want to forget, others I wish I could.  And through it all, another year of my life gone forever, there is one beautiful constant:  My God stayed the same.  The same He will be today, the same He will be tomorrow.  I take hold of my gift, and I start washing the slate clean, yet again.  I claim my prize brought with another new year wrapped in new mercy.

I will try again.

            

A look back... a step forward.

Wow. What a year. It feels more like a lifetime instead of 12 months. By far, this year has been the most significant of my life. I wish that I could say that because of all my wonderful achievements, goals met, or improvements made. But no, it's just been a year of significant change. It's been a year of self reflection. It's been a year of lives turned completely upside down and inside out. It's been 2011. So, if you care to take a trip with me through last year, then walk with me for a bit. I'll share a few highlights.


This time last year, my family and I were living in Ecru, MS. I specifically remember January for all the snow we had in one month, which was quite unusual for northeast MS. It was the first time we all went outside and built a snowman... or snow woman, not really sure which, seeing as how ours had a big yellow plastic sunflower stuck in the top of the head next to the striped maroon toboggan. The girls also learned how to build a snow fort, which was really pretty cool if you ask me. Jordan got her wish of making a snow angel. I can still see her face as she plunged into a pile of snow and furiously waved her arms and legs. I spent that month doing a lot of thinking, a lot of soul searching, a lot of worry over dear friends going through difficult times, a lot of dreaming, a lot of debating, and I did it all classic Jennifer style... all very quietly and inwardly without really speaking of any of it to much of anyone.

February. Just thinking of that month brings innumerable emotions back to the surface. Moving along.

March. My 10 year anniversary trip to Saint Simons Island, GA. (thanks for the idea, Brittany!!) My husband and I enjoyed a few days on the Georgia coast, including our first tour of a lighthouse (all the way to the top!), incredible food, and a beachfront hotel suite. Who knew that you could have your own little piece of paradise only one day's drive away from MS?

April and May kind of run together in my mind. The biggest thing that happened for us during this time was Rachel graduating from Kindergarten. She had her own special day with just mommy, she got to choose where she wanted to eat lunch (Chili's) with mommy and daddy, she got to go shopping, and then that night was filled with family, fun, and lots of smiles and pictures. Yes, I cried. Twice.

June. My chubby ray of sunshine, my Ellie-Belle, turned one year old. Unreal. Her party was Strawberry Shortcake themed with pinks, greens, blues, and yellows. I'll never forget walking through Walmart battling 10 helium filled balloons, causing all kinds of unwanted attention. Ugh.

July. Ever heard of the phrase "at a fork in the road"? Always makes me think of Kermit and Fozzie singing that song in the Muppet Movie where they come to a literal, huge fork in the road...ha. Anyway, that was me. And, much like the song, "movin' right along".

August. This is where it all got interesting. My husband accepted the call to pastor a small congregation in Greenville, MS at Greater Faith Tabernacle. If you missed reading about this time in our lives, go back to "A new chapter" and "The first week of a new life" in my blog. This month is also when Rachel was filled with the Holy Ghost and was baptized! We packed up our belongings, with the help of Del's parents, without whom we'd NEVER have gotten moved (THANK YOU!!!), we said our goodbyes as best we could manage, and off we went. During this time, the girls were able to start the school year off at Oxford Christian Academy (Jordan's first day!) while everything went underway with the move. I'm ever so thankful for this school and I'm so glad the girls can still be a part of it through fun field trips and activities.

September and October are flurried memories of unpacking, beginning the adventure of homeschooling my girls, starting a new job as a private duty nurse for a 4 year old special little boy with SMA, and of course, starting a brand new role as a pastor's wife. What a whirlwind! It's all just a blur. But I do specifically remember one thing, and it's hilarious in light of all the change in my life. I hung curtains for the first time ever. Haha!

November. I turned 32, Jordan turned 5, Rachel turned 7, and my Mother remained her beautiful, young age of 29. :) I was treated to a delicious dinner at my new favorite restaurant here in the Delta, Posecais. My husband and I also packed up the girls and drove a total of 6 hours in one day to vote on Proposition 26. Oh, and on a side note, I received 110 birthday wishes on Facebook! Wow. In comparison to my 15 the year before, that's quite a difference.

December. We put up our Christmas tree with the girls, and they delighted in hanging pretty ornaments in the oddest places, most of which were clumped together along the bottom. I discovered online shopping!! For those of you who truly know me, you can appreciate that small fact, seeing as how I LOATHE shopping of any kind. But this year, I didn't fight the first crowd or stand in the first line. I simply clicked a mouse. Beautiful. And the girls had a wonderful Christmas, probably the best ever.  Amazing things happened at Christmas this year, most of which are personal and private victories. In fact, the biggest events that happened in my life this year are things I will remain silent about.

We ended this year in a special way. We took a quick trip to North Little Rock, AR. Just an overnight, post-holidays getaway. It was fun and relaxing. We brought in the new year in a quiet house, just the two of us. (the girls were on their own vacation with grandparents) It was the most special new year's eve I've ever had. If there was any way I'd want to start a new year, it's not in a crowded room filled with loud, drunk people. It's not even with a small group of family and friends with games and fun conversation. There is no better way to bring in a new year and turn over a new leaf than in the arms of someone you love, that same someone who loves you back. That's the way it should be. That's the way I hope to bring in each new year to come.

I will not make any new resolutions, because, let's face it... who really meets those goals anyway? I will not set myself up for disappointment by making a list of things I can't accomplish. Instead, I'll list a few things I actually DID accomplished this past year, things that were good.

• I started a blog! Yay! A hobby!

• I lost weight, quite a bit, actually. Yes, I gained a few pounds of it back, but that's to be expected. Overall, I have maintained my weight loss very well. I'm quite proud of myself for it.

• I talked my Dad into starting Facebook. Haha!!

• I learned the value of friendship. True friendship.

• I closed a few doors that needed to be closed. Closure is a wonderful thing. It hurts, yes. But it really does help.

• I opened doors.

Here's to a new year. A new beginning. Let's move forward, shall we?

Courtrooms, remotes, and vapors...

Unreal. It is simply unreal to think back and realize another year of my life is history. I will never have those days again... they are GONE forever. Of course, it's that way every single day of my life, but there's just something about a year marker, like New Year's or a birthday, to bring it all into perspective.

It's times like these, when I take a glance back over my life, that I find myself once again in my own courtroom. Ever been in your own courtroom? I have many, many times. It's a bit ironic how I am the plaintiff, the prosecutor, the judge, and the jury all wrapped up into one person. I examine, cross-examine, deliberate, and judge myself in this secret, hidden place in my mind. But there's one person in my courtroom that I am not... I am not the witness. Those on the witness stand in my courtroom are the ones I live with, the ones I effect on a daily basis, the ones I love the most... my family and my friends. How have I made a difference in their lives? What good things have I done? What bad things have I done? How could I improve? Who have I hurt, who have I helped, when could I have gone the extra mile instead of sitting down? Are my victories outweighed by my failures? I have looked, I have listened, and I have reached a verdict yet again...

Guilty.

I am a human being, born under the curse of sin, in need of a Savior, just like everyone else in this world. I am not happy with my mistakes, I have regrets, there are things I wish I could go back and undo, erase, and start all over again. But unfortunately, we are all bound to an infinite, unmovable, unchangeable force in this life called time.

But how wonderful to know that the Creator of time itself is on my side. How wonderful that there is yet another Witness on that stand in my courtroom. How wonderful that I have a loving, merciful Savior. It's then that I realize the verdict isn't guilty... but forgiven.

If only the sea of forgetfulness existed in our world. I have longed for a delete button and made joking references to such on Facebook throughout the past few months or so. Wouldn't it be great to have a remote that we could use to pause, fast forward, rewind, or record over in our lives? But I guess if we had one of those, then we'd never learn a single lesson. No... we don't need to forget. We need to remember. It's in our memories that we truly learn about life. There just has to be a healthy balance somehow in remembering and not beating yourself up over your memories. There has to be a way to remember without pain. There has to be a way to focus on the good times instead of the bad.

So... I just took a deep breath in and let it out here... I will look ahead to this fresh new year of life I have been given today. It's wrapped all perfect and pretty, untarnished, no smudges or stains yet. The only uncertain thing is how long this gift will last. James said it really well... "Whereas you know not what shall be tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away." (James 4:14, KJV)

May I live this life to the fullest... in His will, in His Word, and in His way.