Moving to a new blog site!

For anyone who may stumble across this blog site, or who may have read my blog in the past who still frequents this site, you may have noticed I haven't posted here in a while.  There are several reasons for this, but to summarize it all in one neat little sentence... 2017 was a crazy, hectic year for me.  To say that it was not my favorite year is an understatement.  It seemed to be one emergency after another, and I do believe I added to my ever growing abundance of gray hairs more this past year than any other so far.  Let's just say I was more than happy to close the door of 2017 and have eagerly opened the door to 2018 with great expectations and the promise of new mercy, new grace, and a clean slate.  Even though there were many things out of my control I believe I can personally do better this year.  I am believing for bigger and better things and have given myself 14 personal goals to carry with me into the new year, some of which I will share with you by the end of this post.

One thing I am looking forward to in the new year is trying to squeeze in more time for writing, which happens to be a passion I share with my husband.  He has started a brand new website this year called Treach the Word (which is a word play on our last name, and the fact that he's a preacher/teacher) and I have decided to take him up on his offer for a joint effort in out writing pursuits.  It is with that new chapter of writing that I will be closing this one.  I have enjoyed my amateur attempts at blogging with this site, which has mainly been just a few of the colorful ramblings of my mind brought to life in simple sentences.  I look back on these posts (which have very little to do with the exact happenings around me at those times) and can immediately recall that particular season of my life.  I learned so many lessons those few years, and went through some of the most tumultuous storms of my life.  But the main thing is, I came through them in the end.  I'm still standing, I'm still me, and I'm still writing.  (just not as often)

So... what do I want to take with me into 2018?  Peace.  I want and crave peace.  That's a pretty broad term, and it covers oh so much, but I have a deep, burning desire for this coming year to be peaceful.  Again, some things are within my control, other things aren't, but whatever may come this year I hope and pray that I claim it with elegance, with the right attitude, and with grace.  God may see fit to throw my way some of the hardest tests of my life this year, I have no idea.  But if He thinks I can handle it, then so be it.  I just want to be able to overcome it all in a way that is most pleasing to Him.

I mentioned that I jotted down a few ideas to take with me into the new year.  I'll leave you with some of them.

1. Do what you know you need to do.
2. Start the day right and end it right.
3. Don't be afraid to be who you are.  It's ok to be you.
4. Pray more, yell less.
5. Never leave a room empty handed.
6. Forgive yourself.
7. Be the friend you wish you had.
8. Make your smiles contagious.
9. Keep the soil of your heart tilled and turned. Bitterness is a root, dig deep.

It's been a pleasure having you read my blog.  I pray that I somehow left you with a smile on your face, a thought in your head, and a hope in your heart.  God bless and keep you always.  Please, come and visit me at Treach the Word sometime.

Your friend,

Jennifer

Some Things I've Learned...

Over three years ago, I started working on this blog post.  I don't exactly know why I chose to keep it on the back burner all this time.  There are many posts I've started but never finished that I don't feel any desire to do so, but I do feel compelled to complete this one.  An upcoming birthday seems like as good a time as any to talk about a few life lessons learned.  So... here we go.

I've learned a few things in my lifetime.  I'd like to share them with you.


Some things in life truly can't be replaced by something else.

In my experience, substitutes are never as good as the real thing (diet mayo, for example... eww!).  Once something is no longer there that used to be there, leave it be.  Don't try to fill a void.  It simply will not work; it will only fall apart.  Besides, the only thing in this life that can ever be used to patch a gaping hole is Jesus, in which case He fills the void creating something brand new.  Hmmm...something to ponder...if your life is falling apart.  What have you been using to patch the holes?  Okay, that's another blog post in and of itself.


In most cases, the simplest answer is usually the best.

I do not need the cleaning, planning, cooking, or financial schedule of some other superwoman on the internet with an awesome-looking blog.  I've tried.  I've failed.  Clean a little every day, get the staples at the grocery store and follow new recipes, keep the same tried and true bill pay routine I've used since high school.  I do not need some detailed diet plan complete with daily menus, calorie counting, and a rigorous exercise routine.  I've tried.  I've failed.  Move more, eat less.  Period.

Your body tells on you.

Headaches, neck and back pain, fever blisters, sleepless nights, weight gain: these are the ways my body tells me I've got a problem somewhere that needs fixing.  These things happen to me usually when I am overly stressed, worried, or very sad about something.  I'm sure our bodies are all different, but think about it.  What are the signs your body sends to tell you something needs to be fixed, if at all possible?  Maybe we should pay more attention.

The phrase "grin and bear it": Genius!

There is much to be said about acceptance.  There is a big difference between accepting and giving up.  The ability to learn how to choose one's battles is one of life's greatest (and hardest) lessons learned, in my opinion.  My personality is such that I too often back down, or I avoid conflict at all cost.  That is a weakness of mine.  But being able to just simply accept something that is completely out of my control with a genuine smile—now, that is a strength.  I don't always have to have it my way.  I don't always have to control every single thing in my life.  My needs and wants do not have to be first and foremost in every situation.  I've learned that sometimes you just need to simply breathe in and out really long and slow...and then grin and bear it.

Happiness is not a necessity in life.

Hold on to your hats, folks!  I'm about to say something you may not all agree on.  Happiness is not a right we earn.  Sometimes "just wanting to be happy" can actually be selfish.  I probably just stepped on a few toes or ruffled a few feathers there.  But hey, this is one of the perks of having your own blog: speaking one's mind.  :)  Call it what you want; but the times I've actually heard people say something to the effect of, "I deserve to be happy", are often on the brink of something very selfish in nature.  Happiness is not something to be deserved.  Happiness is a blessing.  It is a gift for which to be thankful.  I also believe that it is a gift that is not necessary to live a productive life.  Happiness and joy, in my opinion, are two totally different things.  I believe it is possible to live in joy and not necessarily be happy all the time.

Music has a major impact on your mood, attitude, and thought processes.

Input, output; what goes in is what comes out.  What a simple concept that we too often take for granted.  We seem to match music to our moods, and it sometimes it makes us feel better...momentarily.  Other times it can actually make us feel worse.

There is a musical genre for any emotion you can imagine.  I see this as a danger.  When we open our minds to music, we cannot stop it from effecting what we think and how it makes us feel.  Dare I say it?  Music is spiritual.  Feeling angry?  What does loud, aggressive music with a strong beat seem to do?  It feeds that anger instead of cooling it down.  Feeling sad or depressed?  Ever start crying even more than before once you turn on your favorite slow song?  And during these times, what are you thinking?  You're more than likely dwelling on those feelings, thinking of what made you feel that way in the first place.

I am speaking from personal experience here.  I have learned that the best way to combat negative emotions is not by matching those feelings to music.  Being a musician and songwriter, I have a love for music and I know the power it can have in our lives, both good and bad.  The next time you're in your car angry at the world, or just bummed out from a bad day, instead of turning on that music your mind wants you to listen to, try some Praise and Worship music.  Try some classical piano.  Try something soothing rather than feeding that fire.  You may not think it makes that much of a difference, but I truly believe with all my heart that it does.  Music is powerful.  Don't underestimate it.

It really will get better with time and God.

Ever heard the phrase "Time heals all wounds"?  I believe that statement is severely lacking.  Rose Kennedy has been quoted as saying,

"It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone."

I'd like to take it a step further, if I may.  God is the One who covers wounds with scars, and He uses time to do it.  He's the pro when it comes to scars, by the way.  Because the human mind is blessed (sometimes cursed) with the ability to remember, I'm not sure that wounds ever completely fade; but I do believe they heal.  There have been several times in my life that I wasn't sure if I could get through the next day, but I did.  Was it easy?  No.  Did it hurt?  Tremendously.  Am I still here?  Absolutely.  By the grace of God and through the faith and prayers of close friends and family who love me dearly, I held on; and it got better.  Speaking of things I never finish, there's a song I started a while back that talks about one of my favorite verses in the Bible, "...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning"  (Psalm 30:5).

Just when you think life has settled down, hang on tight!  It's about to change, again.

I'm nearly 36 years old, and I have never lived under the same roof for more than three years at a time.  I'm afraid of putting down roots because as soon as I do, something comes along to uproot me all over again.  I'm having a transparent moment here, but I am jealous of those of you who have had the luxury of growing up in the same house and getting to bring your children to see your old room.  I am in no way complaining about my life.  I've been blessed beyond measure and will be the first to admit that fact.  I just wish I could have settled down somewhere.  I'm not about to make plans where I am at present, either.  Nope, I know better.  The main thing is just doing what I was speaking of earlier: grin and bear it.  I've been in the ministry all of my life.  The life of ministry is a horse of a different color.  We don't get the same roof for 20+ years.  We only get a handful of true, life-long best friends, if we're that lucky.  We give way more than we get.  We serve.  We encourage and build up other people; then, we cry ourselves to sleep at night.  We don't put down roots; we tend to others' roots.  It's just the way it is.

You don't have to be perfect in order to be a blessing to others.

Thank God!  If He required perfection, I'd be completely useless.  Don't look at yourself in the mirror every morning and immediately decide you have nothing worth giving to the world.  For every weakness you possess, I guarantee you have a strength that someone else wishes they had.  To keep yourself from others because you don't like you, to hide in your hole of insecurity, to bury yourself in the sands of your imperfection—it's the most selfish thing you can do.  Somebody needs you.  Probably a lot of somebodies need you.  Don't wait until you feel you have it all together because, I promise you, no one does.  No matter how perfect someone else's life may seem, it's not.  Every living, breathing human being you pass by each day is going through their own personal hell.  We all have one.  Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.  What better way to combat your own hurt than by helping heal someone else's?

Let other people be in their box.

Ok, let me explain a little here.  I heard of the concept of the box while listening to a marriage seminar message.  It was geared towards the idea that men have their  mental boxes and that they get them out one at a time and deal with things in life that way.  When they are "in their box", they typically ignore everything else going on around them until they put that box away and go get another one.  Women, on the other hand, have twenty or more boxes open at a time and are jumping from box to box all day long, which is why it bums us out or even makes us angry when our husbands don't help us deal with all our open boxes because they have their hands and heads in their one little box.  Make sense?  For instance, say he's outside doing yard work, plain and simple.  More than likely, it's a stress reliever for him rather than a chore; it's his quiet time to get away from it all and just sweat and cut grass and attack tree branches.  Let him.  Don't go out there and ask about a past due bill or what he wants to do about next week's church social or, even worse, ask him to come inside and kill a spider.  No.  He's in his box.  Let him be in his box until he puts it away.  The secret is timing.  Catch him before he goes and opens another one.  :)  I have learned that this principal not only applies to marriage but can also be useful in life.  Let people be themselves.  Let them have their moment.  Let them be in their box, if at all possible.  Just imagine how happy you would be if others would let you be in your box...or boxes.

Comparison: code for joy-killer.

So, some of these things that I've learned...I'm still learning them...most of them, in fact.  This is probably the biggest one for me.  Why do we (women probably more than men) have the tendency to constantly look at others and compare ourselves to them?  It's really crazy when you stop and think about it, but it happens all the time.  Homes, clothes, weight and sizes, jobs, cooking abilities—Gracious!—even our own families—we are always mentally comparing ourselves and everything about us with others.  I'm speaking from personal experience here; but in most cases, we end up feeling less than perfect.  It got me so down and out at one point in my life that I actually had to stop looking at Facebook and Pinterest.  Some of my favorite quiet times had somehow morphed into moments that made me feel like a worthless, pathetic, inadequate mess.  All of my faults and failures seemed to rise from the computer screen and hit me in the face with each picture I saw of grand, expensive family vacations that I wasn't financially able to take my family on, delicious recipes that I wasn't cooking, beautiful outfits that I didn't have, gorgeous homes decorated to perfection that I could never afford, and toned and muscled bodies that I didn't see in the mirror.  I had to combat these feelings with some serious soul searching.  I had to take a break from social media and hit the reset button of my mind.  I had to do some fasting and praying.  Most importantly, I had to take mental note of everything I had to be thankful for; and as the list grew longer, my feelings of inadequacy shortened.  I had to realize that I am who I am—that I'll never be anyone else—and to love me for me, despite my many imperfections.  I'm still trying to realize it each day, actually.

Don't kill the quiet.

In this crazy, busy life full of technology where absolutely nothing is personal anymore, take the time to turn it all off, sit outside or go for a walk, and let the sun shine on your face and the breeze mess up your hair.  I've never needed the quiet more in my life than I do now.  In the extremely rare moments that I have all to myself, most of the time I like to be completely silent.  I won't say (or sing) a word.  If ever I'm alone in the car, it's very rare that I play music.  About a year ago I had a job that required an hour long commute to work every day.  It became my most favorite time of the day.  I just drove...in complete and utter silence.  Nothing but my mind going 90 to nothing.  And I tried to even silence that part of me, but it was incredibly difficult.  I've been around people who can't sit still, literally.  They can't look at another human being in the eye and carry on a 10 minute conversation without pulling out their phone.  It drives me crazy, mainly because that used to be me.  I now try to make a conscious effort to leave my phone in my pocket, especially when I'm with other people.  I go to a restaurant and see couples sitting there, both on their phones, completely ignoring each other; and it makes my heart hurt.  Let me tell you something: your cell phone can ruin your marriage.  Put it away.  Talk to each other.  And when you're alone, don't say anything at all.  Be quiet for a moment or two.  Let everything calm down a bit; turn off the distractions; and embrace the silence.  I think you'll find there's an awful lot out there worth listening to that's not plugged up to something electronic.

For Pete's sake, say "please" and "thank you"!

What on earth has happened to common courtesy?  Show me an adult who keeps the words "please" and "thank you" active in their daily vocabulary and I'll nearly faint.  I'm utterly dumbfounded these days when it comes to outright rudeness.  It has gotten to the point that I see common courtesy (which is by far not common anymore) as a sign of actual maturity, dignity, and intelligence.  It's no wonder kids these days don't know how to act.  They have pitiful examples at home.  Although I'm in no way the perfect parent, I have actually learned something about raising kids (I have three).  If you'll say "please" and "thank you" to your kids, they'll pick up on it and say it to others.  Wow!  Shocking, isn't it?  When someone compliments you, say, "Thank you."  When someone gives you a gift, say, "Thank you."  When someone is simply nice to you and holds the door for you instead of letting it slam in your face, say, "Thank you."  Good grief!  What are we—a bunch of cyborgs?!  Or is it that we're just really that stuck on ourselves that we can't stoop down to a commoner's level and show a hint of politeness?  Can you tell that this is one of my pet peeves?

Righty tighty, lefty loosey...

Words of wisdom!  I can't tell you how many times I've said that little phrase to myself.  It's simply amazing how much it's helped.  Thought I'd throw it in for good measure.  :)

Old people are amazing.

There are few things in life that bring me more pleasure than sitting down and talking with an elderly person who still has their wits about them (and even those who don't).  They've lived through so much, survived so many obstacles, and are brimming with wisdom and knowledge.  They deserve our utmost respect.  They deserve to be heard.  They deserve to tell the world what for because, if anyone knows about anything, they do.  If you still have grandparents or, better yet, great-grandparents, cherish every moment you can with them.  Pick up the phone and say hello.  Go see them.  And if you don't have any elderly relatives living, then do yourself a favor and go visit a retirement home somewhere; pull up a chair, and make a new friend.  If nothing more, you'll enrich the life of that sweet person in their last days.  And who knows?  You just might learn something.

Forgiveness is a beautiful thing.

Forgiving someone who has wronged you is one thing, but being forgiven when you're in the wrong is quite another.  If anything in this life is the epitome of the heart of Jesus Christ, it's when someone forgives you when you've hurt them.  You'll never fully appreciate nor understand forgiveness at it's core until you've been forgiven yourself.  My husband and I were talking about how God forgives and forgets (see Isaiah 43:25 and Hebrews 8:12).  He brought out a very good point.  The fact that He forgives is not the God part of it.  It's the part where He actually forgets—that's the God part.  That's the part we as humans can't comprehend.  We can forgive, but we'll always remember.  But to actually forget...that's truly divine.  And it's absolutely beautiful.

There isn't much that dry toast and hot tea can't fix.

It's gotten me through three pregnancies, countless stomach bugs, the flu, migraine headaches, or just a bad day in general.  Don't get me wrong; I'm a coffee girl to the core.  But there are times that coffee just isn't the answer.  There are times when nothing but hot tea will suffice.  The next time you feel like death warmed over, give it a shot.  Piping hot, dry, nothing-on-it toast and a cup of mild, steaming hot tea with just a pinch of sugar in it.  You will feel better.  I promise.

Cold, rainy days heal the soul.

Call me crazy; but I absolutely love autumn days with dreary, overcast skies, a hint of cold wind, and a steady, light rain.  I love it even more if I can curl up with a blanket, a book, and a cup of coffee by the window so I can enjoy it.  It doesn't take much to please me, and this is one of those ridiculous things that I love.  It does something to me; I can't quite explain it.  But it makes me feel very happy.  Try to find peace in moments like these instead of complaining about the dreary weather.  It's there.

True best friends are an absolute gift from God.

I've only had a few; and because of life, miles, and hectic schedules, I really don't have any the way I'd love to have them right now.  Those of you who have that best buddy in the world that you can call literally day or night, 24/7, and never worry about a thing—someone who knows your mind and heart inside and out, someone who absolutely loves and looks for ways to make you feel special, someone you can hop in the car with on the spur of the moment and go have a fun day together—you've been blessed.  Truly blessed.  Please don't ever take it for granted.


I guess I've rambled on enough for one blog post.  Maybe there's some nugget in here that will do someone out there some good.  I truly hope so.  Even better, if you have a blog and you've posted such things that you have learned, please leave me a link in the comments.  I'd love to read it.  Like I said earlier, the older you are, the more I think you actually know something. :) Have a wonderfully blessed day, my friends.

Topsy Turvy

It's so amazing to me how fast things can change.

Just about the time life seems to fall into a predictable routine something can suddenly derail and completely reroute your present course, oftentimes requiring a paradigm shift in your way of thinking.  Sometimes these changes happen gradually, in slow steps that you can see and prepare for in advance.  Other times it's seemingly overnight with no warning at all.  And then there are those weird times that it's a little bit of both... things changing slowly right in front of you giving you a sense of something to come but then that something arrives much faster than anticipated leaving you breathless and anxious with an overall sense of chaos and confusion.

Well, such has been my life over the past several months.  I saw something coming, wasn't sure of the details exactly, but definitely something coming that would bring about change, but when it hit it happened so fast it left my head spinning.  This change is right, timely, and in God's will for our lives.  Just because it happened fast doesn't mean it happened in a hasty, thrown together decision at the last minute.

After much prayer and careful consideration, my family and I have resigned this past October from the work at Greater Faith Tabernacle in Greenville, MS where my husband has been Pastor for the past two years.  This has been one of the most difficult decisions of our lives.  We dearly love each and every member and will miss them greatly.  

When you give your life over to God and place everything in His hands in complete surrender, and pray daily that He would order your steps and lead you in His will, it's not that shocking to be seemingly uprooted from one situation only to be planted in another.  Such is the life of ministry... this I well know.  All of my life, from the very day I was born, I have lived in the home of a minister.  Being raised in the Truth and watching my parents prayerfully respond to callings and burdens throughout my life, I have come to understand concept of change.  I married a minister, who was also raised in the home of a minister, so both my husband and I have a hold on the importance of following the will of God for our lives.  Sometimes that will can lead you through doors you were fully anticipating walking through, sometimes it doesn't.  The important thing is knowing the voice of God, and correctly responding to it.

We are now living in Oxford, MS and working with Pastor Glen Williams at Christ the Rock Apostolic Church.  My husband has been installed as Youth Pastor (and Pastor's Assistant).  This church holds a very special place in my heart, as it was founded by my Dad when I was a teenager.  I couldn't be happier about this change, being much closer to friends and family, as well as the school my children were based out of while we were homeschooling in Greenville.  (The school, Oxford Christian Academy, is an extension of the ministry of the church we now attend.). We lived with my parents for the first 4 months until the dust settled and we could get our feet back under us.  I honestly felt sorry for them!  It was a crowded, crazy few months but it was wonderful being with them so much.  I had missed them more than words could say.  In February of this year (Valentine's Day, to be exact!) the Lord blessed us with a beautiful home.  I was amazed at how it all just fell into place.  It was only another confirmation of what we already knew, we were right where we were supposed to be.  Things are still in boxes in the garage and everything is not exactly like we want it, but we feel so at home here.  

Another major change in my life has occurred, one I would have never seen coming.  I'm now learning the family business at The Denture Lab, working for my father-in-law.   This nurse is no longer a nurse, but instead a dental technician in training!  Ha!  Who'd have ever thought I'd learn to make dentures.  :)  I honestly love it.  

The days and weeks quickly turned into months.  It feels as though time has been let loose, like a child who's finally been told they can unwrap their Christmas presents.  It's difficult to describe, but it feels as though I'm sitting back watching my life change before my eyes but not really participating in it.  "Dreamlike" is the best word I can think of to describe it.  I've been having to remind myself that this is really happening.  Every day we've been back home has gone by in a flurried whirlwind of activity.  From moving day till now, the days have just ran together for me.  There's been something major going on just about every time I find a minute to sit down and catch my breath.  November birthdays, Christmas, and the New Year have all zoomed before my eyes.  I've seen winter hit with a fury that has finally let go, and now Spring is all around us.  I am utterly amazed at how quickly time has flown by.  The girls have grown so much since leaving Greenville.  All three of them are in new shoe and dress sizes.  I can't keep up!

With life seemingly flipped all topsy turvy, I'm reminded of something I used to enjoy doing as a child.  I'd lay on the couch with my head dangling off the side and look at everything around me upside down.  Things took on a new appearance when viewed from a different perspective.  For just a moment I was out of the rut of the everyday norm.  With my blond wisps of hair flopped around my ears, my cheeks turning pink, and my head starting to feel dizzy and heavy, I'd take in the room around me.  The light fixture turned into a weird looking table.  The ceiling became a bumpy floor.  Chairs and tables suddenly defied gravity.  It was so cool!  (there wasn't much to occupy my time as an only child.  I did what I could.)  :)  But now I kind of see life that way.  Our world can be turned upside down and things still be positive, especially when we live in faith by putting our trust in the One who created it in the first place.  The next time you get thrown a curveball in life and you start to feel the pressures of change, go flip your head upside down somewhere and find a cool table like I did.  It will make you feel better, I promise!  Take another look from a different perspective.

Not to sound cliche', but the saying is really true; the more things change, the more they stay the same.  We may not see some things coming ahead of time, or we may actually be prepared for it and watch it happen without shock.  We may feel a sense of change without knowing the full reason.  Whatever the situation, whatever my past or present course, whatever mysteries may lie ahead around the next bend, I rest in the knowledge that my God's got this.  Whoever said the following knew what they were talking about, "I may not know what tomorrow holds, but I'm glad I know who holds tomorrow."

Chalkboards in the Morning

It seems as though I haven't had any inspiration for a "year in review" post.  Yes, much has happened.  And yes, there are many goals I have in mind for the year ahead.  But unlike last year, I don't have the desire to do a month by month walk back in time.  Last year was quite different; our lives had completely changed.  This time, I prefer to keep my thoughts tucked away about 2012.  Besides, those closest to me who actually read my blog know the main highlights anyway.

To wrap it all up in one neat, little bundle that I could stuff in a tiny shell and send zooming over the information highway directly to your screen:  God is merciful.  That's all that really matters.  His mercy is from everlasting to everlasting, mercies that are fresh and new each morning.  When day breaks the darkness of night and the sky awakens slowly from pitch black to a hazy gray to a beautiful light blue.  His mercy likewise changes the color of our heart's horizon.  And as sure as the sunrise, as sure as the kiss of dew on each blade of grass, as sure as dawn of another day, we are given the most valuable prize ever won:  the chance to try again.

My Dad once made what I believe to be one of the most awesome points I've ever heard on mercy.  Remember when soda companies first started the trend of prizes won under the cap or at the bottom of the can?  So many times we read over and over, "Please try again", to which my Dad taught that was the greatest prize we could ever win in our lifetime:  the chance to try again. 

I am reminded of my old 4th grade classroom chalkboard.  It was actually several huge chalkboards fitted together that covered an entire wall.  Mrs. Harris chose a student at the end of each school day, right before the last recess, for the coveted (yes, coveted) job of washing the boards.  The lucky student would go fill the old tin bucket with soap and water, and with a huge, over-sized sponge he or she would wash clean all the writings and lessons of the day.  I have no idea why it was such a desired occupation rather than going outside to the playground for that last spin on the merry-go-round with the boom box blaring in the center, that last game of kick ball with Principal Wood, that last swing on the swing set while singing to the top of one's lungs, that last opportunity to catch a yellow jacket in the half drank can of grape soda.  I waited and waited for what seemed like an eternity to my 8 year old mind for my chance to wash the boards.  Finally, it came.  I was never so happy to clean something.  (How I wish I still felt that happiness while doing housework!)  I dipped that giant sponge in the pail of tepid, sudsy water, stepped up onto the stool designated for the washer, and from top to bottom, all the way from one side of the wall to the other, I wiped clean every mark.

 Forgive my simple mind, but I see each new year like that chalkboard.  I think that the prospect of washing it all clean should be exciting, something to look forward to, to be happy about while we're doing it.  I also believe that the start of a brand new year is the perfect time to do a little soul searching, a little praying, a little fasting.  It only makes sense to me to do these things as the precious gift of the "chance to try again" is set before us.  Let the water of the Word wash you clean.  Detoxify your physical and spiritual self in a good fast.  Spend the dawn of each new day (beautifully painted with that fresh mercy!) on your knees in prayer before the rest of the world wakes up around you.

So once again, I find myself on that step stool at the chalk board, damp sponge in hand, the powdery scent of chalk in the air (because there's a lot on the board), and a smile on my face.  I'm remembering the past year I see written before me.  I see lots of laughter, lots of tears, a few achievements, a few mistakes, lessons learned, and a ton of blessings I could have never deserved.  So many memories.  Some I never want to forget, others I wish I could.  And through it all, another year of my life gone forever, there is one beautiful constant:  My God stayed the same.  The same He will be today, the same He will be tomorrow.  I take hold of my gift, and I start washing the slate clean, yet again.  I claim my prize brought with another new year wrapped in new mercy.

I will try again.

            

As Time Goes By...

Time.

What an amazing concept.  When you stop and really think about it, time is by far one of the most incomprehensible phenomenons known to mankind.  Throughout my years of teaching Sunday School to children of all ages, from pre-schoolers to college and career students, there has only been one way I have been able to describe time.  It's the very same way my Daddy explained it to me as a child.  He drew a circle on a piece of paper and said that before the beginning of anything there was God, and there was no such thing as time.  Then he drew a simple line in the top part of the circle.  He explained how God simply stepped in and "drew" a line in the circle, creating time, which from that point on everything had a beginning and an ending.

Because of that line, our brains have a difficult time understanding the concept of eternity.  It is quite amazing to think how one of these days God will step in once again... and simply erase the line.  The short amount of time that we have been given as individuals to decide where we will be when that line is erased is by far the most precious gift we have ever or will ever be given.

Each year, we celebrate the date that marks the beginning of our own beginning.  We call it a birthday.  Just yesterday, I turned another year older.  One more drop in the countdown of my personal timeline, the time that I have been given to determine how I will spend eternity.  It's a sobering thought, but not one of dread or worry for me, because in the words of one of my favorite childhood Christian music bands, "I've got time on my side".  You see, when this life is over for me, that's when my true life will begin...a life that will never end.

Another thought to ponder... there is more to time than just a beginning and an ending.  There are beautiful periods of time within time itself called seasons.  I'm not just referring to the four seasons of each year (which Autumn is my favorite by far!).  There are seasons in our own lives.  Ecclesiastes chapter 3 says it so well, I wanted to include it in this post.  I know we've all heard it so many times before, but sometimes I like to read these verses again and see them through the "glasses" of a personal perspective.

 ^"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
 A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
 A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
 A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
 A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
 A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
 A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
 What profit hath he that worketh in that wherein he laboureth?
 I have seen the travail, which God hath given to the sons of men to be exercised in it.
 He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end."

          Ecclesiastes 3:1-11

Seasons are needed.  Seasons have purpose.  Seasons are vital to our very existence.  Without the changing of seasons in our lives, there would be no growth.  Things would always stay the same, whether good or bad.  Nichole Nordeman sings a beautiful song called Every Season (see video below), which captures the heart of my thoughts on recognizing God in each season of our lives.

 

My personal desire is to  always remember that time is a precious gift, that time brings seasons, that seasons bring needed change, and that change brings new growth.  As I look back over the past 33 years of my life, and try to look at the unknown years ahead, I want these thoughts to be etched into my heart and mind.  I pray that whatever time I am given, be it one day or 50 more years, that it will be time well spent in the light of eternity.  Just as a breath is breathed in and out again, so is the beginning and ending of this earthly life bound by the laws of time... only to be forever released to the eternal.  To believe in life after death only to realize you were wrong, you've lost nothing.  To not believe now only to awaken in the light of eternity, you've lost everything.   Be sure you know where you stand when your own line is erased.

Not Good Enough

It was time for P.E. class at school, the time of day the little girl dreaded the most.  Quiet, shy, and basically withdrawn from most every student in the entire school, except for two other 6th graders, she never told anyone how much she loathed having to go to the gym every afternoon, not even her parents.  But being the obedient child she had always been, she never balked when the teacher announced P.E. time.  She would go to the girls bathroom, change into her modest culottes and tennis shoes with the rest of the girls from the Christian school, and bravely walk into the gym.

Some days she was lucky, when the teacher would instruct them to go out into the football field and run laps, something she could do on her own, with no one else watching or criticizing.  Other days the teacher would not be available for awhile and they would all be instructed to go into the gym and do some form of physical activity, where groups would usually form and she would be left alone to walk around the gym with no other distraction from her quiet thoughts.  She liked those days.

But today was not such a day.

The teacher announced "volleyball", and teams were formed.  As always, she was the last standing to be picked.  How she hated standing there every time there was a game where teams had to be formed.  She had to go to the side lacking a player, and it immediately began... the looks, the rolled eyes, the huffs and sighs.  How she hated P.E. time.

She took her place where she was told to stand, and the game began.  Stomach already in knots, heart racing, she tried her best to remain calm and just get through the game.  One more game.  "You can do this", she would tell herself inwardly.  "Just watch the ball and try to hit it."  "It's just you and the ball, no one else.  It's only a game."

The ball was served from the opposing team, and as if it searched her out willfully, it came straight over the net directly to her.  She attempted to hit it.  She missed.  Thus started the game with frazzled nerves and irritated teammates.

The game progressed, and points were scored on each side.  They managed to knock her out of the way when the ball came too close to her.  They grumbled and complained whenever she tried and missed.  And then it was her turn to serve.  The game was close, her team was losing by only a point.  "Oh, man... come on!", she heard an older teen girl say.  "Get it over with.", another said.  "We're gonna lose", echoed another.  She swallowed hard, closed her eyes briefly, held out the ball, and hit it with all her might.  She watched in silence as it veer off to the far right.  Protests and sneering remarks came from both sides, some laughed, some whispered to others or under their breath.  She couldn't take it any longer.  She didn't say a word as the tears fell from her young face.  She simply turned and walked away.

That was the last volleyball game she would ever play.

That little girl was me.

I'm not sure why that memory occurred to me today.   It came from nowhere, just out of the blue.  I haven't ever shared that memory with anyone, or ever explained why I like to watch volleyball but never play.  My senior year of high school, just having moved back to the area I had been away from for 4 years, I was given the job of keeping the score book for the Lady Warriors.  I went to each game, even attended every practice, and cheered them on with as much enthusiasm as the coach.  I loved being able to be apart, even if it meant sitting on the sidelines.  Watching those girls play so hard and win most games they played was a true joy.  But being in that same gym again brought back a few haunting memories every now and then.  Those old feelings of shame, of not being good enough, of never being picked on a team, of nervousness and dread, they would creep up every once in awhile.  But by that time I was a pro when it came to swallowing down unwanted feelings and hiding behind a smile.  Besides, what did it matter?  I was just a little girl.  It was all so silly.  Just a part of growing up.

Even now I feel so embarrassed just thinking about it.  But looking back to that senior year, and remembering the 6th grade and how it impacted my life, I have come to realize the importance of talking things through with a friend.  Yes, it may be seemingly unimportant or even utter nonsense, but anytime feelings of self-loathing, or feelings that drastically effect one's sense of self worth are involved, I have found out the hard way it is very important to try to talk it out.  Because speaking your mind, especially about how you see yourself, is a way to overcome those feelings.   Keeping things bottled up inside for half your life can ultimately lead to a habit of bottling up every feeling, not just the bad ones.  I've often wondered how many people live their lives behind a mask, portraying one image but really living another, all the while bottling up feelings and emotions that really need to be shared with someone who truly cares for them. 

It may be a good idea to open the dusty trunk of childhood memories every now and then and go through a few.  I think the ones usually buried there are the ones we try to forget.  But in doing so we may just figure out a reason why we tend to do one thing or another today.  I am a firm believer in knowing the "why", not just the "what".  The "why" is much more vital!

Being a nurse, I have been trained to know the rationale behind each action.  That was actually my least favorite part of nursing school.  Not only were we trained to do a task perfectly, but if we were not able to explain why we did it, we would fail just as if we hadn't done a single step right.   Wow.  How much easier life would be if we could step back and ask ourselves why.  Maybe then we could figure out how to solve the problem.

Just some ramblings today from the recesses of a full mind.  Most of my blog posts are not this personal.  This one may even be a bit dull, but it's something I felt like writing.  Having that old memory come up again today, I wanted to ponder it a little... so I pondered out loud.  :)     

       

Three buttons that can change your life...

The computer and I do not get along.

For whatever reason, I have a mental block when it comes to comprehending all things electronic.  I've never had to take a computer course, believe it or not.  I graduated from nursing school the very year they decided to make that class a requirement.  Whew.  Something tells me my "A" average would have swiftly dropped.  Now, don't get me wrong, I love email and Facebook.  I enjoy blogging, obviously.  Pinterest is simply fabulous.  I like the conveniences of computer technology, and I know just enough to get by.  But when I encounter a problem with it, well... patience ceases to be a virtue.

My poor husband, who has a degree in programming and who is a computer guru, has tried to help me out a few times.  Remember my previous words... mental block.  But one thing he has shown me actually stuck, took root, and remained implanted in my crowded and disorganized brain.  Three beautiful key combinations... and don't laugh, yes I had to learn about this... "Ctrl+Alt+Del".  Wow!  What an amazing, wonderful, beautiful thing that happens when those keys are pushed together...  END TASK!!!  This laptop I use is notoriously slow, and many times it will freeze up, for lack of a more educated word, and it Drives. Me. Insane.  Ah, but I have a solution!  A few keystrokes, and I can stop the things that are slowing it down.  Amazing.

Wouldn't it be marvelous if we had those keys to push in our lives when needed?  Especially us women.  We've got SO many things going at once.  Talk about overload.  How many little "programs" do we having running at the same time?  How many "windows" do we have open at once?  And I'm not just talking about the many things crowding our everyday lives, vying for our precious time and attention.  What about all the things in our minds?  What about all that stuff that we don't talk about with anyone else?  All the problems we're trying to solve on our own, all the worries weighing us down... we could all probably use a little "end task" time.

There's got to be a way that we can push those keys, point and click our mouse, and stop some things that are hindering our progress.  Things that might have seemed important at the time we started them, but have actually become a weight.  Things that take too much energy from us.  Things that pull our focus and attention away from the more vital things going on around and inside of us.  Things that slow us down and stop us from running smoothly.

Have a few of those things popped into your mind?  Can you visualize that list of things that would come up if we chose to end a few tasks?  Go through that mental list.  Which ones are the most important?  Which ones could be deleted to help lighten the load?

May God help us all to prioritize, rearrange, and give us the knowledge of when and how to end some tasks.

(A must-have for every living room, haha...)

   

A closer look... from Belle's perspective...

A few days ago, I was running some errands around town and Ms. Ellie was strapped in her car seat tagging along with me.  She was a little fretful, so I turned on Pandora (love it!!) and we listened to some cool kids music.  I was singing along with her, and she was smiling in no time.  We went through some Veggie Tales, some Muppets (Mahna Mahna totally rocks, if that song can't make you smile, nothing will!), and then some Disney cartoon theme songs started playing.  The little girl in me has always loved the Disney animated movies and cartoons, especially the classics.  When one of my favorites came on, Beauty and the Beast, I began to sing along with it (word for word, mind you), and it hit me... of all the fairy tales out there, this one could actually be applied to everyday life.  And this is one where I can actually understand the mindset of the girl.  (I always had trouble understanding Cinderella...)

I won't bore you by going through the storyline, I'm assuming most of you already know how it goes.  But I want to share a few things I really like.

Belle loved to read.

I love how she appreciated a good book, and would read it over and over.  I have done that countless times.  There is nothing quite like re-reading a favorite book, where the characters are so familiar and become more like old friends.

She was most definitely a "daddy's girl".

My, oh my, how I can relate to that one!  Now, my Daddy may not be a quirky, chubby, inventor with a white beard (his would be more salt and pepper if he let it grow out), but I can't even begin to express in words how much I am a daddy's girl.  She watched out for him, stood up for him, and risked her own life to find him when he was lost in the woods.

She had a little bit of a temper.

She wasn't your average fairy tale girl character.  She had a little spunk, and it made me like her all the more.  When something wasn't right, she stood up for what she believed in... of course, with grace and poise.  :)  Ever the fair lady, she still had a mind of her own.  But those opinions didn't make her into a brat or someone that was hard to get along with.  It simply added a little spice.  :)

She was somewhat daring and curious, but knew where to draw the line.

Ok, so she went to the "forbidden" side of the West Wing in the castle early on.  You gotta give her a little credit for curiosity.  But when she was found out, she apologized, and I don't recall her going back there until the Beast took her there himself to show her the mirror to help find her father.

She saw something beautiful in the Beast, even though he hated himself.

This is my favorite thing about her.  She fell in love with the Beast before he turned back into Prince Charming.  In fact, when she fell in love with him, she didn't know who he really was, nor did she know that he would ever change back! 

 

There was a hideous face instead of a perfect one, yet she looked at him lovingly.  There was anger, bitterness, and a horrible temper to deal with, yet she was kind and patient with him.  

 

  It didn't take a lot to win her heart... only a library... 

He found out her passion for reading (two points for him asking around and trying to find out what pleased her!), and gave her the enormous, massive library in hopes of winning her heart... and boy, did it ever work.  But even before that time, she had already begun to like him.  The gift was just icing on the cake.
 

He truly let her go... and she came back.

 

Ok, this is the mushy part of my heart showing here, but wow.  A lot can be said about true love letting go.  And even more about true love coming back.

Don't worry, dear readers.  I do not live in a fairy tale dream world, I know this is simply a made up story.  But all I wanted to do in this post was speak what's on my mind.  If you know me at all, you know that I love to find life lessons in unlikely places.  Well, here ya go... some lessons learned...

• Challenge yourself to find something beautiful in those who hate themselves.  

• Try not to focus on the ugly things staring you in the face, but look deep into the heart.  There's something beautiful in just about everyone. 

• Make someone happy, someone who would have otherwise never been happy if not for your kindness.

• Enrich a lonely, forgotten life.  (If you don't know where to look, start in your local nursing home.  As a nurse, I can guarantee you'll find someone there.) 

• Give someone else the benefit of a deeper, closer look.  Who knows... someone may have done the same thing for you.

 So, thank you Ellie.  Thank you for being fretful in the car with mommy.  It's because of your being fussy that this blog post was even created.  Hopefully, your tears can somehow, in some way, help dry the tears of someone else. 

Thoughts from inside the box...

Warning:  The following content is of the most extreme randomness that I have ever blogged.  Those looking to read something amazing or mind blowing, please continue searching the world wide web, this is not your spot for genius reading material today.

I wasn't gonna, but I just have to.

Ok, so I have a few quirks about me.  Not many, mind you, but I do have a few.  I like to make tea, sweet tea, by the gallon.  My family enjoys the southern liquid gold on a daily basis around my house.  I do not think of mine as perfect, but I do have my own recipe down to somewhat of an art.  So, anyways, I make tea.  And when I buy the tea in the box, I like to take all the bags out and place them in my glass tea jar with the lid that screws on.  I dunno, seems to keep it a bit more fresh tasting that way.

So, as I was putting away and sorting my groceries the other day, I opened up my big box of tea and began refilling my empty *gasp!* glass tea jar.  And at the bottom of the tea box, I found this...

So... thank you, No.2... whoever you are, wherever you are, presumably in the fine state of Alabama.  I do wonder why we heard from you and not from No.1, but I guess that just says more about you.  I appreciate those who appreciate comments, so... I appreciate you and applaud you for a job well done.  My tea was perfectly packed in the box without flaw or defect.  We have enjoyed a gallon already.  May your life be blessed and happy, and may you continue to do such fine work.  :)

Steppin' on Spaghetti-O's

My toe kicks a gummie across the floor, then, crunch... a Cheerio is now fine powder.  I trip over a doll and have a near-death experience.  A Lego lurking in the darkness is like a steel spiked bear trap to my tender bare foot.  Slippery suds splashed from a tub onto a tile floor challenge my gymnastic skills.  Sigh... I HOPE that was peanut butter.  A book on carpet is my new skateboard, and the smallest crayon is like a log on water.  How on earth have I remained alive?

While cleaning the kitchen this morning, I discovered that stepping on a spaghetti-o at just the right angle with a bare foot on a linoleum floor creates the coolest high pitch squeaky sound.  I had to just stop and smile.  I thought of all the things I've stepped on in my short 7 years as a mother, and I realized these years are precious.  I probably won't have to sweep and vacuum literally every single day once my babies have grown and left my house.  And something tells me that my clean, safe feet will feel a little lonely.

So, yes... I will step on the spaghetti-o... and smile.


 

I like it... I shall pin it...

I have found a new addiction... pinning all things pretty, yummy, funny, stylish, neat, and wise on my virtual pinboards... yes, I have finally crossed over.  Pinterest!  What fun.  To some, ahem, it's another waste of time.  But to me, it's just like scrapbooking or keeping a journal of things you find lovely and interesting, only easier and better!  I am truly enjoying it.  It's also neat to go back to your boards and take a look at yourself through the eyes of the world wide web.  Your own personality and tastes comes shining through, and you can actually learn a lot about yourself  just by looking at the things you've "liked" and "pinned".  In fact, I think it's a great outlet for someone such as myself who has been known to keep things bottled up and quiet.  Wanna know who I am?  Well, then... this is a part of me.   http://pinterest.com/jennifertritsch/

"Happy Pinning"!

Reading You

I was just reading a blog post from one of my favorite authors, Francine Rivers.  She was talking about collections and why we keep things.  In her post, she asked if any of her readers collected things and why. (if you would like to read her post, here's the link, http://www.francinerivers.com/blog/collections )  It made me think for a bit, and I responded with the following:

"Many different things in my life have been "collected" throughout the years, only to eventually be given away or thrown out.  But I seemed to have held onto written words like they were pieces of gold ever since childhood.  Any birthday card with a personal written message, any letter, any drawing, poem, song, journal or diary... I have kept them all.  Because of these collections, I have precious, irreplaceable treasures.  I have letters from my now deceased grandmother who was my best friend.  I have one-of-a-kind gifts that money cannot buy.  I have my childhood recorded in silly diaries and serious journals.  In today's age of technology, words come a dime a dozen, because they are so easily tapped out onto a computer keyboard, proof read with spell check, and sometimes even copied straight from websites.  But nothing will ever replace the magic that occurs when pen meets paper.  Somewhere between the time when words are formed in the mind to the time they appear on the page, the heart speaks.  To me, such words are treasures, worth more than any generic gift from a store.  May we never take for granted the simple things in life that can be so valuable."

To those of you who have blessed me with the gift of your handwritten words, thank you.  I have treasured each and every one.  Reading your  unique penmanship (the word "deciphering" applies to some, ha!) have been some of the greatest moments of my life.  I love the convenience of email and texts, and those who know me at all know how MUCH I love it.  But nothing electronic, no matter how eloquent or flawless, will ever replace seeing your personality expressed in your written words, for it's in those moments that your heart has captured mine.  Thank you, my dear friends.     

Courtrooms, remotes, and vapors...

Unreal. It is simply unreal to think back and realize another year of my life is history. I will never have those days again... they are GONE forever. Of course, it's that way every single day of my life, but there's just something about a year marker, like New Year's or a birthday, to bring it all into perspective.

It's times like these, when I take a glance back over my life, that I find myself once again in my own courtroom. Ever been in your own courtroom? I have many, many times. It's a bit ironic how I am the plaintiff, the prosecutor, the judge, and the jury all wrapped up into one person. I examine, cross-examine, deliberate, and judge myself in this secret, hidden place in my mind. But there's one person in my courtroom that I am not... I am not the witness. Those on the witness stand in my courtroom are the ones I live with, the ones I effect on a daily basis, the ones I love the most... my family and my friends. How have I made a difference in their lives? What good things have I done? What bad things have I done? How could I improve? Who have I hurt, who have I helped, when could I have gone the extra mile instead of sitting down? Are my victories outweighed by my failures? I have looked, I have listened, and I have reached a verdict yet again...

Guilty.

I am a human being, born under the curse of sin, in need of a Savior, just like everyone else in this world. I am not happy with my mistakes, I have regrets, there are things I wish I could go back and undo, erase, and start all over again. But unfortunately, we are all bound to an infinite, unmovable, unchangeable force in this life called time.

But how wonderful to know that the Creator of time itself is on my side. How wonderful that there is yet another Witness on that stand in my courtroom. How wonderful that I have a loving, merciful Savior. It's then that I realize the verdict isn't guilty... but forgiven.

If only the sea of forgetfulness existed in our world. I have longed for a delete button and made joking references to such on Facebook throughout the past few months or so. Wouldn't it be great to have a remote that we could use to pause, fast forward, rewind, or record over in our lives? But I guess if we had one of those, then we'd never learn a single lesson. No... we don't need to forget. We need to remember. It's in our memories that we truly learn about life. There just has to be a healthy balance somehow in remembering and not beating yourself up over your memories. There has to be a way to remember without pain. There has to be a way to focus on the good times instead of the bad.

So... I just took a deep breath in and let it out here... I will look ahead to this fresh new year of life I have been given today. It's wrapped all perfect and pretty, untarnished, no smudges or stains yet. The only uncertain thing is how long this gift will last. James said it really well... "Whereas you know not what shall be tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away." (James 4:14, KJV)

May I live this life to the fullest... in His will, in His Word, and in His way.